As painful as it might be to see your favorite team or star player pack up and move to a new city, it’s nothing like the pain of laser tattoo removal. For plenty of people around the country, mirrors are a constant reminder of losing their beloved Whalers or Sonics until they die or molt their skin like a snake. Or maybe they can make this a cool retro trend — because in their cases, #tbt stands for “throwback tattoos.”
1. Houston Oilers
Now the Tennessee Titans. Maybe this guy is just a big fan of the oil industry in general?
2. Seattle SuperSonics
Now the Oklahoma City Thunder. A double whammy: The worst franchise hijacking since the Browns became the Ravens, and no graceful way to fix this with a Superman shield.
3. Hartford Whalers
Now the Carolina Hurricanes. A super sweet logo, to be fair, but also an instant sign that you’re a New England Masshole or some d-bag from New Haven. Either way, you have lacrosse hair.
4. Montreal Expos
Now the Washington Nationals. We all miss the Expos, but not this much.
5. Atlanta Thrashers
Now the Winnipeg Jets. This is also the only hockey fan in Atlanta.
6. Quebec Nordiques
Now the Colorado Avalanche. This looks like a fresh tat, which means someone was pining for the early-’90s heyday of sweet Nordique hockey.
7. Brooklyn Dodgers
Now the Los Angeles Dodgers. Look, is it hipster cool to get this tat? Not unless your grandpa grew up going to Ebbet’s Field. Otherwise, you’re memorializing a team that played near your adult kickball league. Poser.
8. California Angels
Now the Los Angeles Angels, formerly the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, formerly the Anaheim Angels. Oh boy, did this guy jump the gun on immortalizing that team name. The Angels are the Puff Daddy/P. Diddy/Diddy of teams.
9. Tampa Bay Devil Rays
Now simply the Rays. This dude now has a big flying manta ray on his arm AND the defunct Expos beloved mascot Youppi! up in there, along with the Marlins’ former uniforms and…just don’t get tattoos, guys.
10. Lance Armstrong/Team USPS
Not a team per se, but remember that Lance took down Team USPS on his way out — they disbanded in 2007. In general, one of the more regrettable visages to have on your body after all of Lance’s legal issues, and those eyes are weirdly intense.
11. Washington Redskins (Soon)
You know it’s just a matter of time — and way sooner than 2037.