11 Times Bradley Cooper Looked Hotter Than A Raccoon On The ‘Guardians Of The Galaxy’ Red Carpet

Bradley Cooper, human man, looks terrific in these photos.

Let’s just get this straight, you guys: Bradley Cooper is not a raccoon.

But he plays one in the movies, so we don’t blame you for being confused.

Fortunately, Cooper’s appearance last night at the “Guardians of the Galaxy” premiere should help fans everywhere positively identify the differences between Bradley Cooper and a raccoon.

Although they both have dark markings around their eyes, please note that Bradley Cooper’s “mask” is a pair of sunglasses. ‘Cause he’s not a raccoon.

BC at GoTG

Actually, raccoons can’t even wear sunglasses, because their ears are in the wrong place to hold them up. Bradley Cooper’s ears, however, are PERFECT.

BC portrait side

Here is Bradley Cooper not being hunted by Old Yeller.

BC with fans

Pro tip: If it’s a Hollywood actor, you use your phone to take a selfie. If it’s a raccoon, you use your phone to call animal control.

BC fan selfie

This angle clearly demonstrates Bradley Cooper’s lack of a long, bushy tail with distinctive dark striations.

BC standing 3/4 angle

Because he is not a raccoon, Bradley Cooper doesn’t fear for his safety when posing with a notorious boiler of small, furry animals.

BC with Glenn Close

Chris Pratt goes for the double high five from his favorite fellow raccoon actor.

BC with group

When was the last time you saw this face peering out of your garbage can at 3:00am? Never, that’s when. UNLESS YOU’RE REALLY LUCKY.

BC big portrait

Unlike a raccoon, Bradley Cooper is content to pose politely with a wax figurine of Tony Stark and does not attempt to crawl up his pant leg.

BC and Tony Stark
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Bradley Cooper confirms to a member of the press that he is not, in fact, a raccoon.

BC with reporter

Plus, he’s much taller than a raccoon. Like, definitely at least four inches taller.

BC standing/facing camera