According to Beyoncé, our number one source for all things movie scoop, the first trailer for the (duh!) eagerly anticipated "Fifty Shades of Grey" movie will be out this Thursday, July 24. We'll give you a second to adequately react to this news.
Better now? Good.
After months of nothing but tantalizing photo teases, "Fifty" book readers likely have about a zillion things they want to see in the trailer -- like Jamie Dornan's face, Jamie Dornan's shirtless torso, any sex scene, a riding crop -- but there's one thing they absolutely have to show E.L. James' passionate fan base, lest they want a riot on their hands. And that thing, ladies and gents, is the Red Room of Pain.
What's the Red Room of Pain, you ask? And why is it so important? Well, in a nutshell, it's the sexual, pain-and-pleasure torture dungeon that pretty much everybody has in their house, except Christian Grey's version is red. It also happens to be the place where nine-tenths of the super-sexy stuff in "Fifty" goes down, because Christian greatly prefers this room to his actual bedroom. (We'll let the movie reveal the reasons behind this particularly intriguing psychosis.)
In real life, the Red Room has become so popular that hotels are debuting their own (less racy, of course) versions to entice fans to, erm, open up their minds, and a British dominatrix actually built a pretty spot-on recreation of her own that couples can rent for the night. Basically, to say that the Red Room has become an iconic staple for "Fifty" fans is an understatement.
Bey's little Insta-peek ended with Christian opening up the door to a locked room, so we hope this means that the RRoP will finally make an appearance this Thursday. But you never know -- just like Christian with Anastasia, Universal could just realllly like to torture us with the excruciating wait.
What do you think, "Fifty" fans? Is there anything you want to see more than the Red Room of Pain? Let us know in the comments!