Want To Know The New ‘Star Wars’ Plot? Then This Is The Post For You

The man with the hand has a plan. Or something!

So we’ve got some major potential plot details that have surfaced on the Internet, folks. So if you want to remain blissfully unaware as to what might be happening in the latest “Star Wars” flick, do not — I repeat, do NOT! — read on. The potential for spoilers is strong with this one.

OK, so we good? Now let’s talk about how much “Star Wars Episode VII” is getting a hand from “Episode IV: A New Hope.” According to Badass Digest, the latest installment in the sci-fi universe is one epic adventure to reunite a lost hand with its Jedi. Really.

Though we have no confirmation as to who this source is, apparently the whole thing starts off with that infamous severed hand that was lost in time in, perhaps what will be forever known as the worst father-son fight in history.

“Imagine the standard Star Wars crawl, and when it ends the camera pans up to the stars. But instead of a spaceship zooming into frame we see… a hand! A severed hand, tumbling through space. A severed hand gripping a light saber,” Badass Digest writer Devin Faraci explained.

Apparently it is that hand — fallen into the, well, hands of Daisy Ridley and John Boyega, our heroes. In a quest to reunite the hand with its original Jedi owner, the duo “meet up with Han Solo and Chewbacca,” who are NOT, apparently, in the Millennium Falcon, but do admit “they haven’t seen their friend” to whom the hand belonged, “in thirty years, since the events of Return of the Jedi.”

But obviously it’s not so simple as all that — naturally, a big baddie must be introduced. So the post mentioned that while all this is going on, somewhere “on an ice planet,” some tricky bad guys “are building a super weapon” capable of destroying “entire solar systems” in a single clip. Sounds like a job for… everyone in this movie!

So — what do you think of the potential plot? Does this make you wary “Star Wars” fans more or less excited? Let us know in the comments.

Too much exuberance for one person.
@alicialutes