Etsy

Is Punk Dead? Probably, Because Etsy Is Selling A Punk Rock Starter Kit

It's all over, normcore is gonna have to be the new punk.

There’s nothing punks hate more than inauthenticity. People that don’t fully buy-in to the punk ethos, or who don’t follow specific punk rules are immediately shunned as #posers by true punks. But now, even posers can blend in and rage against the machine with these handmade items!

Seriously, when punks get a load of this Punk Starter Kit on Etsy, they’re probably going to have a cow. A punk cow. With a studded bracelet. It’s basically the opposite of everything the punk lifestyle stands for—including the fact that it’s on the notoriously cutesy, girly site Etsy.

Here’s an excerpt from the post on Etsy:
“Did you recently see some punks at the mall, thought they looked sick and want to join the freak show?”

Is “freak show” really the appropriate label to use as a marketing tool here?

The post continues:
“Well now you can with the kit that has everything you need for the other punks to stop calling you a poser.”

Yes, because clothes, patches and spikes are all it takes to transform from a suburban Spice Girls stan into an avid Sex Pistols fan.

Here’s verbatim what the kit includes:
– Bootstrap studded with small (your’re just starting out) 77 cone studs
-Bondage belt
-Studded bracelet with bondage wring
-Studded wristband
-Totalitar and Varukers patches
-Mystery goody!

Oooooh wonder what the mystery goody is? Could it be a book about anarchy? A Sid Vicious poster embedded with tiny, handmade spikes? But wait, there’s another extra that this Etsy user has included as an added bonus…

“PLUS: List of cool bands to listen to and of attitude and fashion faux pas for your new look.”

Wait, if Etsy is selling kits on how to pass as a punk, and punk is over, is normcore slowly becoming the new punk? Quick, punks, head to your local Goodwill to get some high water jeans and flannel!