@kimkardashian / Instagram

True Life: I Got Addicted To The Kim Kardashian Game

Here is my story.

When I took an assignment to try out Kim Kardashian’s video game for MTV News last month, I had no idea what it would come to. Fast foward two weeks later to me, foggy-eyed at 1 a.m., blearily checking my phone to see if my date with Dirk was going smoothly. If I fell asleep, the date would end without me, and Dirk and I would be over for sure.

My relationship with “Kim Kardashian: Hollywood” started off well. I don’t know if you guys remember my original review titled “Move Aside Nerdz, I Crush At This Kim Kardashian Game,” but I thought it was a comprehensive assessment of the Glu Games Inc. production, which I had downloaded for my iPhone. You take modeling jobs, you date, you climb the social ranks. So simple! But I was just getting started — a little baby in Kim Kardashian’s world. Level 5? I was only a n00b.

kardashifrown

That’s me, in a state of utter confusion about what my life has become.

Yesterday, Verizon texted me saying I used up most of my family’s family plan data.

Once, before falling asleep, I handed my phone to my real-life boyfriend (I don’t know how he still loves me) so he could finish the runway show I was starring in.

I almost — ALMOST — bought a pack of Kardashian charms, one of the game’s two currencies. I suppose I have a little willpower left in me.

But that willpower is not reflected in all of the gamers who got snagged into this life-consuming highly addicting game. In fact, the game is on track to make $200 million, according to Bloomberg. Only 15 percent of that is from advertising. The rest? In-app purchasing.

I can’t even tell you how many times I wanted that Beverly Hills condo, or how many times I wanted that kitty cat on the street that costed 20 charms that I didn’t have because I used them to win Dirk back. So $200 million surprisingly doesn’t surprise me. There are lots of temptations in the Kim K game.

The thing is, addiction can happen to anyone. Look at me: I’m not the Kardashian type. I don’t own Chanel. I don’t care about my social ranking. Whenever I’m photographed during a night out, my skin is pasty and the flash is most likely reflected in my vampire-like eyes. I listen to like, a little bit of Kanye, but not enough to want to marry him. I will never wear peplum. It just isn’t me.

But somehow, in this twisted world of the iPhone app store, I got caught up in the wrong game. I don’t even know who I am anymore.

Help me.

Member of MTV News' Cat Braintrust, has an unhealthy obsession with pork dumplings and tweeting Austin Mahone's mom. Follow @emileelindner