TV

Awful Waffles And Donkey Lips: 12 Essential Life Lessons We Learned From ‘Salute Your Shorts’

Remember the '90s? Learn from its lessons.

Camp Annawanna, we continue to hold you in our hearts, even though it’s been legit more than 20 years since we’ve visited you last.

The classic Nickelodeon show “Salute Your Shorts” may have only fed into our gross misconceptions of what exactly happens at summer camp for the golden years of 1991 and 1992, but that doesn’t mean we love it any less.

Even those who weren’t even alive during the show’s initial early-’90s run have probably found themselves humming the earworm of a theme song at one time or another.

It makes us wanna fart, right? Of course it does.

Without further ado, here are the 12 most important life lessons that “Salute Your Shorts” taught us.

1. Hell hath no fury like Donkey Lips.

2. Nobody cares if you’ve had dinner with Michael Jackson, even if it was the finest Norwegian food…from Norwege.

3. The Awful Waffle is not a part of anyone’s nutritious breakfast.
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4. Zeke the Plumber is the ultimate horror story.

5. If your summer camp has more than, say, a dozen campers, you must be doing it wrong.

6. You could have eaten a fish that ate a worm that ate Elvis. You could have eaten Elvis.

7. Sometimes, you just have to stop dreaming and glue your macaroni to something.

8. Even head counselors aren’t above pizza-based bribery.

9. He’s Budnick, not your bud.

10. Beneath every mullet hides a secret softy.

11. Trumpeting is the ideal alarm clock.

12. If all else fails, simply stand at attention, click your heels together and salute your shorts.