According to the burbling masses, I am a 26-year-old journalist from the U.S. whose future includes being slowly eaten alive by my cat, Little Edie -- I mean, who is single.
This summary is partially right. I am older. No one needs to know by how much.
"But... how do you know what those aforementioned burbling masses think of you?" you may ask. "And, more importantly, what do they think of me?" Well, I downloaded the newest in ego-feeding (or tearing-down) semi-dating apps: GetYou. And you can, too.
GetYou, which Techcrunch has handily deemed "Tinder Meets Secret," is a newly launched app for iOS and Android that basically lets you see what strangers think of you -- and also maybe date those strangers. When you download the app, it plugs into your Facebook to pull in some general data about you -- and then shunts you into a pool of people to be judged.
Although it sounds like an app for cruel trolls, the judgments are pretty general: age, occupation, home country, relationship status. If someone likes what they see, they can request to be your contact on the app and therefore trade messages with you and maybe, just maybe, share a life together.
You and your contacts can also add "bubbles" to your profile that describe you -- "quirky," "pessimistic," "hipster," etc -- and you can write a brief profile describing who you really are.
I think I'll just go with a 26-year-old cat-owning journalist for now. [Insert grotesque winky face here.]