Strip Club Offers Carmelo Anthony Free Lap Dances For Life If He Signs With Knicks

We know Carmelo Anthony has taken meetings with the Dallas Mavericks, Los Angeles Lakers, Houston Rockets and Chicago Bulls to decide where he’ll play next. However, based on yesterday’s news, his incumbent team might have the advantage.

TMZ broke the story that Scores New York has offered Melo free lap dances for life if he re-signs with the New York Knicks. Imagine the money he’ll be saving. Just crunch the numbers. A lap dance is $20 (not counting tip). For the sake of argument, let’s say Melo averages one lap dance a week. That’s 52 lap dances a year. He’s 30 years old, so he’s got another 48 years if he lives to the average life expectancy. That’s a savings of $50,000 and that’s not accounting for inevitable lap-dance inflation rates.

Scores New York’s offer also includes:
Judging the “Dollars For Scholars” amateur pole dancing competition.
A new drink called “The Melo Carmelo.”
His own personal ball girl and cheerleading squad for every Knicks game that only cheer for Carmelo.
A topless charity basketball game in his honor, in which he could also play.

Strip clubs of Los Angeles, Dallas, Houston and Chicago, the ball is court. It’s time to make Melo your offers.

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