Rihanna Grinds Her Butt On A Guy, He Has No Idea What To Do: Watch

Never has a human exhibited such astonishing self-control.

What do you do when Rihanna pulls you out of the crowd at a concert, yanks off your glasses, and gives you a lap dance right there on stage?

No, seriously: What do you do? Like, with your hands? This is the conundrum that confronted the unwitting star of this video, who had obviously never made a contingency plan for being laid out on a rotating disc and straddled by a gyrating RiRi. You can practically see the dude’s mental gears grinding as he weighs the potential pros and cons of grabbing a fistful of booty.

WAIT, IS THAT A NEW PIERCING ON RIHANNA’S FACE?!?

Fortunately, good sense prevailed and the lucky fellow opted to flash The Horned Hand instead. And we mean fortunately for him, because had he touched Rihanna’s derriere, we all know how that would have turned out.