7 Best Places For A Scandalous Wedding Hookup

Between the open bar and the hotties in fancy outfits, a reception is the perfect place to make a new favorite mistake.

It’s wedding season, and just because your betrothed friends are saying “adios” to random hookups doesn’t mean you have to do so as well. Next time you find yourself with a glass of champagne in one hand and a chiffon bouquet in the other, slip away to one of these places to get down. Just be back in time for cake.

1. The Bridal Suite

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This room exists solely for the bride to get ready for a quick 18 hours prior to the ceremony. It’s full of fluffy couches and rose petals, and is often left abandoned once she walks down the aisle. If you don’t know how to find it, ask (or hook up with) a bridesmaid.

2. The Gazebo

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Off the beaten path and often unlit, the gazebo is one of the most romantic places to suck drunk face.

3. The Bathroom

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A perennial scandalous hookup favorite, the bathroom offers the cozy comfort of a pre-warmed seat, though carries the risk of someone urinating adjacent to you and your new acquaintance.

4. The Limo

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If you have access to a limo and do not use this luxury vehicle to commit carnal acts in a parking lot, you should have your single-person rights revoked immediately.

5. A Bush

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Though rarely a first choice, a bush offers a surprising amount of coverage from possible onlookers. If this is a beach wedding, hiding behind a palm tree is considerably less thorny.

6. The Dumpster

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Do none of the previous locations work? Find some privacy by following your nose to the pile of trash bags and discarded crab cakes in this romantic, fly-ridden corner; an ideal setting for the naked stranger on the go.

7. The Hot Tub

Come to think of it, why don’t they just throw the whole reception in the hot tub?

Tess Barker is a stand up comic and co-host of the Lady to Lady podcast.