Ryan Gosling And Eva Mendes May Be Having A Baby And The World Is An Empty Void Filled With Screams

There's no point anymore, really.

Women, men and all other genders of the world: Get out your tissues. That paragon of human masculinity, that golden ab'd one with a voice like an angel, that teenage dream turned 30-something reverie will never love you (the chances were slim before, but still).

Yup, Ryan Gosling is going to be a daddy and the world has officially drowned in tears.

OK! Magazine originally broke the news, reporting that Eva Mendes is seven months pregnant with the most perfect baby in the world, we're sure. That means that for seven months you have been loving Gosling in vain. In VAIN, I say!

(Reps for the couple have not yet returned MTV News' request for comment.)

I really have nothing else to say about the matter but the below. Wake me up when someone builds a boat sturdy enough to sail across this river of tears...