7 Reasons (Not Counting Sharks) The Ocean Should Terrify You

Afraid of the water? Good. Not afraid? You should be. Check out these sea monsters and other aquatic phenomena for inspiration to keep dry.

Now that it’s summer, your friends will try to convince you to go to the beach and get your feet wet. Whatever you do, don’t listen to them. The ocean does not want you in it. Our ancestors crawled out of it for a reason. (They might not even have crawled out; they could’ve been kicked out, because the ocean is not one to suffer fools.) If you cave in to peer pressure, at least be prepared for what could be waiting for you…

There are stingrays that weigh 800 lbs.

This creature, which looks like a science-fiction nightmare, usually lives at depths of 1,000 feet, but fisherman Mark Quartiano (who called it “a big, gigantic whipping stingray — it’s a dinosaur”) caught it while fishing at only 500 feet. Sure, you’re not going that deep, but considering that 95% of the ocean is unexplored, why risk going in at all?

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Jellyfish populations are increasing exponentially all over the planet.

Jellyfish Lake In Pacific Micronesia Barcroft Media/Getty Images

They aren’t just stinging people dumb enough to go to the beach — they’re causing nuclear power plants to shut down worldwide. (“Dawn Of The Planet Of The Jellyfish,” anyone?) Some scientists are worried that jellyfish populations will replace other fish entirely, along with whales and even penguins. Take the hint. Get out the water.

Sometimes the ocean likes to turn red.

AUSTRALIA-NATURE-ALGAE AFP/Getty Images

A red tide is the result of a giant algal bloom, which isn’t uncommon, but no one really knows why the ocean takes on this reddish color. Also, the bloom causes respiratory problems if humans come in contact with it. So basically, the ocean turns red for some semi-mysterious reason and tries to stop you from breathing.

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Giant squids are suddenly living off the coast of Japan. Are they an “omen”?

5374812667_6486e50e60_o NTNU Museum Of Natural History And Archaeology

That’s how Japanese fisherman describe the eery recent appearance of the creatures, which can grow to 43 feet. What could the “omen” be? Maybe it’s a good omen? Maybe the squids want to be friends? Don’t kid yourself. Squids are not your friends.

The blue-ringed octopus is only a few inches long, and one of the deadliest animals on earth.

BXP47970 Angell Williams/Flickr

This octopus’s poison is strong enough to kill you, and there is no anti-venom yet developed. Although stings are rare, there have been increased sightings of the creature. Is that because diving has become more popular and it’s easy to share photos online? Or are the octopi planning something?

We said we wouldn’t include sharks, but something ate a nine-foot great white and scientists have no idea what did it.

Swimming With Sharks In The Bahamas Barcroft Media/Getty Images

The shark was tagged with a device that measured its depth and body temperature. The data showed that it quickly dove 1,903 feet, and its body temperature rose from 46 degrees to 78 degrees Fahrenheit. That means something (giant squid, killer whale, “colossal cannibal great white shark”?) ate this thing, and experts are mystified. And you were just scared of a little sunburn at the beach?!

Billy Ocean. His overflowing sex appeal is deadly.