Forget frenemies and Facebook “friends” you’ve spoken to exactly once. Here are the unwritten rules of best friendship that the super-qualified Dr. Mindy Lahiri would approve of:
1. Thou shalt always be available to help in case emergency strikes.
Emergencies include but are not limited to breakups, food poisoning, and needing to discuss the Pretty Little Liars season finale ASAP.
2. Thou shalt never feel pressure to clean before a best friend comes over.
That pile of clothes on the floor probably includes a few of her tank tops anyway.
3. Thou shalt never comment on a best friend’s weight.
Unless it’s to tell her how killer her butt looks in those shorts.
4. Thou shalt not judge a best friend for meeting strangers on Tinder.
Online dating is miserable enough without the judgment.
5. Thou may smack some common sense into a best friend.
Especially if she’s about to meet someone from Tinder she hasn’t thoroughly Facebook stalked and Google searched yet.
6. Thou shalt always steal food to bring home to a best-friend-turned-roommate.
This only applies when the opportunity presents itself and it is not illegal to steal said food.
7. Thou shalt unconditionally support a best friend on a late-night food binge.
Ideally you’d both be chowing down on McNuggets together.
8. Thou shalt make fun of a best friend just enough so that she feels comfortable making fun of you back.
You guys might as well be siblings with the amount you’ve ridiculed each other.
9. Thou shalt not roll your eyes at a best friend’s outrageous romantic fantasies.
Remember that she supports your ambitious dream to one day marry Ryan Gosling, and he’ll look exactly like he did as young Noah in The Notebook.
10. Thou shalt tolerate a best friend’s occasional melodramatic outburst.
If Serena and Blair survived six seasons of simultaneously hating and loving each other, you and your BFF can make it work for sure.
11. Thou shalt never speak lies, big or small.
Tell it like it is, always. She can tell when you’re lying anyway.
12. Thou shalt tell a best friend when a boy is bad news bears.
Whether she listens to you or not is another story, of course.
13. Thou shalt telepathically read a best friend’s mind and know when it’s time to leave the party.
…and get McDonald’s on your way home.
14. Thou shalt not judge a best friend for needing an entire box of tissues during The Fault In Our Stars.
If she didn’t get at least a little bit teary-eyed during this film, you should probably question her humanity and/or the functionality of her tear ducts.
15. Thou shalt look for the silver lining in a bad situation.
Even if the silver lining is as simple as Love Actually being easily accessible on Netflix.
16. Thou shalt not judge a best friend for saying mildly inappropriate things.
As long as they’re funny and not too insulting.
17. Thou shalt always make time for profound heart-to-heart convos with a bestie.
Ben & Jerry’s is optional but recommended.
And as one last final reminder: