5 Problems With Dating Someone Who Looks Like Your Ex

Using facial recognition software to find dates who look like an ex? What could possibly go wrong?

Last month, word came that Match.com is rolling out facial recognition software in order to help online daters find people who look similar to their exes. You might think that’s creepy, but it’s also stupid. OK, maybe you have a “type” and that’s fine, but why would anybody want to date a doppelganger of their ex? There are just WAY too many problems that could arise…

1. Calling Out The Wrong Name

Especially during those moments when you’re tired or drunk or…in the grips of passion. There’s nothing less romantic than forgetting somebody’s name, and you’re guaranteed to mix up facts about them. (“What do you mean, this isn’t your favorite restaurant?”) Which means you’re also guaranteed to create yet another ex in your life.

2. Unrealistic Ex-pectations

Of course, if someone looks like your ex, then you might also expect them to act like your ex, either positively or negatively. Your ex is your ex for a reason, and a lot of what you remember about him or her might actually be negative — the quirks, the arguments, the fights — and now you’ll project those onto your new squeeze. Or, if you’re still pining for your ex, you might hold this new person to an ideal that nobody could live up to. Either way, that’s a terrible expectation.

3. The Inevitable Comparisons

You’ll always compare your current and your former to some degree, but if they look exactly the same, you’ll constantly be thinking about how your new significant other stacks up against your previous one. You won’t be able to appreciate this relationship for what it is. And how are they supposed to react when they discover you were looking for a clone of someone else?!

4. You Won’t Get Over Your Ex

You’re regressing here, not progressing. And what if the facial recognition algorithm works just a little too perfectly and, yes, you guessed it, you find yourself paired up with your actual ex? What the hell, might as well give it one more go, right?

5. This Relationship Will Only Be Skin Deep

Ultimately, though, if you’re dating somebody just because they look like somebody you used to date, then you’re really not respecting them as an individual, which — let’s face it — is pure objectification. It’s not fair to them and not healthy for you. Hey, maybe you should just consider finding a new “type”?

Aaron Goldfarb is the author of "How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide" and "Drunk Drinking."
@aarongoldfarb