In case you haven’t heard, Jennifer Lawrence is officially the most powerful woman in Hollywood, having edged out her fellow female actors (plus every male one except Robert Downey, Jr.) for a top spot on the Forbes Celebrity 100. Ranked at #12 with a whopping $34 million earned in the past year, Lawrence now has more clout than any other leading lady.
And having taken her place at the top of the heap, there’s just one thing left for J-Law to do: Get drunk. WITH POWER. How? Below, we’ve rounded up our top 19 entries on the 2014 Jennifer Lawrence Megalomania Bucket List.
1. Commission a giant fiberglass statue in her own likeness and install it on top of the Empire State Building.
2. Publish a six-volume anthology of fart jokes.
3. Fund a genetic research institute for creating real-life X-Men.
4. Buy one million pizzas.
5. Install a pizza-dispensing device in every room in her house.
6. Build a house made entirely of pizza, that is also full of pizza-dispensing devices.
7. Quadruple her extensive butt plug collection.
8. Hire a bunch of desperate peasants to stage a real-life Hunger Games; appoint herself President and Head Gamemaker.
9. Launch a fitness empire with a line of branded vagina-exercising videos.
10. Clone herself.
11. Buy a football team.
12. Buy a football league.
13. Buy a football league and populate every team entirely with Jennifer Lawrence clones.
14. Turn the clones into an army and invade Lichtenstein. Or Rhode Island.
15. Overthrow the government of an unstable nation and declare herself Khaleesi.
16. Get back Jeffrey Wright for the cricket incident of 2013 by filling his entire house with three million banana slugs.
17. Hire henchmen to kidnap annoying paparazzos and throw them into an active volcano.
18. Escalate her crush on John Stamos by stalking him, kidnapping him, and imprisoning him in a gilded cage wearing only his underpants.
19. And finally, declare herself an actual deity and found her own religious cult.