Let’s Kick It: The Hottest Player From Every World Cup Team

We'd kick it with them any time.

If there’s one thing that we love about the World Cup, it’s the new variety of hot dudes it brings to our attention. Like, sure, soccer, fun and cool, but let’s be real: Soccer players tend to be a handsome bunch, and when you bring the best of the best together, it might as well be an issue of Tiger Beat, but geared toward people out of tweendom who pretend to have fancy hobbies. (Like watching soccer. Ahem, football.)

To celebrate the kickoff of the world’s hottest sporting event (sorry, Olympics, some of your sports really bring down your average), we’ve pored over thousands of statistics pictures to bring you the very hottest soccer player from each participating team.

So grab your fans, turn on your TVs, and may the hottest footballer win.

GROUP A
Brazil – Marcelo Veiria

Real Madrid Training And Press Conference Getty Images

Are you tired? You’ve been running through our minds all day.

Mexico – Hector Moreno

Mexico Training -FIFA Confederations Cup Brasil 2013 Getty Images

Baller.

Croatia – Danijel Pranjic

P.A.O.K. v Panathinaikos - Greek Cup Final Getty Images

Let’s kick it.

Cameroon – Fabrice Olinga

FBL-WC-2014-CMR-TRAINING Getty Images

We’d watch this guy play a double-header any day.

GROUP B
Spain – Cesar Azpilicueta

SL Benfica v Chelsea FC - UEFA Europa League Final Getty Images

He’s had 24 years to make his face look that good. What have you ever done.

Netherlands – Joel Veltman

Netherlands v Colombia - International Friendly Getty Images

We’d let this defender defend our hearts. Or something.

Chile – Carlos Carmona

Atalanta BC v AC Chievo Verona - Serie A Getty Images

Like Fatboy Slim, he just wants to celebrate you.

Australia – Dario Vidosic

FBL-WC-2014-AUS-TRAINING Getty Images

Go on a date with your new mate, Dario.

GROUP C
Colombia – Jackson Martinez

FBL-POR-LIGA-CUP-PORTO-BENFICA Getty Images

We’d be just fine with this forward being a little forward.

Greece – Sokratis Papastathopoulos

Borussia Dortmund v FC Zenit - UEFA Champions League Round of 16 Getty Images

You may not be able to spell his name on the first try, but you won’t forget that face.

Cote D’Ivoire – Didier Zokora

Brazil v Ivory Coast: Group G - 2010 FIFA World Cup Getty Images

Yes, of course he’s the one on the left.

Japan – Yoichiro Kakitani

Japan v Cyprus - International Friendly Getty Images

The face of a man who knows he’s good-looking.

GROUP D
Uruguay – Luis Suarez

FBL-WC-2014-URU-TRAINING Getty Images

Luis wants to kick it with you.

Costa Rica – Yeltsin Tejeda

United States v Costa Rica - 2013 CONCACAF Gold Cup Getty Images

He may be a midfielder, but we’d put him at the top of his field.

England – Jack Wilshere

Arsenal v Hull City - FA Cup Final Getty Images

Lucky number seven, indeed.

Italy – Lorenzo Insigne

Italy Training & Press Conference - 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil Getty Images

Those quads.

GROUP E
Switzerland – Xherdan Shaqiri

FC Bayern Muenchen v SC Freiburg - Bundesliga Getty Images

This is our field of dreams.

Ecuador – Fidel Martinez

FBL-WC-2014-ECUADOR-TRAINING Getty Images

We like ‘em lungey.

France – Remy Cabella

FBL-WC-2014-FRA-TRAINING Getty Images

If you like them inked up and French, have we got a treat for you.

Honduras – Jerry Bengtson

FBL-WC-2014-HON-TRAINING Getty Images

A superb demonstration of ball skills.

GROUP F
Argentina – Augusto Fernandez

The Argentina Team Arrives in Belo Horizonte - 2014 FIFA World Cup Getty Images

He wears a suit almost as well as he wears a jersey.

Bosnia and Herzegovina – Muhamed Besic

Bosnia-Herzegovina v Mexico Getty Images

Super serious. (Seriously good looking.)

Iran – Daniel Davari

FBL-WC-2014-FRIENDLY-IRI-ANG Getty Images

You know what they say about goalies.

Nigeria – Ogenyi Onazi

FBL-WC-2014-FRIENDLY-NGA-GRE Getty images

He flies high.

GROUP G
Germany – Christoph Kramer

FBL-WC-2014-GER-PRESSER Getty Images

He’s got that Draco Malfoy vibe.

Portugal – Cristiano Ronaldo

Real Madrid v Atletico de Madrid - UEFA Champions League Final Getty Images

No commentary necessary.

Ghana – Jordan Ayew

SSC Napoli v Olympique de Marseille - UEFA Champions League Getty Images

We’re Ghanas for this one.

United States – Graham Zusi

USA Training & Press Conference - 2014 FIFA World Cup Getty Images

Long, flowing locks? Check. Muscles? Check. We could go on.

GROUP H
Belgium – Dries Mertens

SSC Napoli v Hellas Verona FC - Serie A Getty Images

Yeah, we’d split a waffle with him.

Algeria – Nabil Ghilas

FBL-WC-2014-ALGERIA Getty Images

We respect a man with a sleek ponytail.

Russia – Aleksander Kokorin

FC Dinamo Moscow - FC Krasnodar - Premier League Getty Images

We’re fans.

Korea Republic – Ha Dae-Sung

He’s a (foot)baller.