Instagram/Chrissy Teigen

Chrissy Teigen Goes To Medieval Times, Eats A Bloomin' Onion, Steals Our Hearts

And all our lives are better for it.

If you need someone to be jealous/in awe of today, let it be Sports Illustrated model Chrissy Teigen. Not only did she get to go to Kimye's wedding, where her husband John Legend reportedly performed, not only does she have adorable puppies to play with all the time, but she also went to Medieval Times last night with a bunch of models and had a baller time.

Oh, and then she went to Outback Steakhouse afterward for a Bloomin' Onion. She invited a knight, but he didn't come.

And she still gets to be in possession of that booty.

Like we said: if you're looking for a role model today, look no further.

Here's Teigen with pals Bonnie Cook and Brittany Riddle and her mom, Vilailuck.

To prepare for a night of fun, she carboloaded with her mom a little.

All the better to scream in horror/delight during Knight Fights.

It's hard to enjoy a meal during the drama of a joust.

Then they used all that energy to encourage knights to "finish together."

There were multiple costume changes this evening...

And numbers to be collected. (Please note baby king at the bottom of the frame.)

They weren't kidding about getting that number.

...or Outback. After all, only a true medieval warrior could follow up a fine dining/jousting experience with a Bloomin' Onion.

This may be the end of Teigen and Co.'s night, but just think: it could be the beginning of your own epic adventure, should you be so inspired. (Be inspired, and please Instagram it thoroughly.)