In case you have been living under a rock or for some unholy reason do not have Netflix, know that the de facto breakout hit of 2013, “Orange is the New Black,” will return on Friday (June 6) with 13 brand new episodes. We’re excited. You should be too. Here’s why:
1. It understands the healing power of tacos.
2. It brings up issues most of us have never thought about, like the devastating concept of having a child in prison.
3. It shows women bonding and working out their issues instead of being horrible to each other.
4. It has a complex, often-unlikable audience surrogate, who occasionally has moments of brilliance that make us take a good, hard look at ourselves.
5. Try as they may, no one has ever used a magic chicken as a metaphor for the necessity of hope so effectively. NO ONE.
6. It gives us a lot of laughs via Crazy Eyes, but also makes her a human being instead of a punch line. (At least after episode three.)
7. Can you imagine a world without TASYTEE?
8. Seriously, though.
9. Have you ever seen a friendship like this one on TV before? No, you have not.
10. Speaking of friendship, it also teaches us how to effectively get rid of our enemies.
11. It features a real transgendered actress instead of a dude in a wig. And she is spectacular.
12. It reintroduced the world to Natasha Lyonne, who was very sorely missed and is necessary for society to fully function.
13. Same goes for Patti Mayonnaise.
14. And Laura Prepon, though Alex is occasionally infuriating.
15. It inspires us to believe in the power of redemption.
16. And really knows how to knock a funeral out of the park.
17. And when things get a bit too heavy, we can always count on Pennsatucky to lighten the mood.