By Maurice Bobb
Lil Scrappy was nowhere to be found in the latest episode of “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta,” but Momma Dee kept his presence alive while holding court in the streets, refereeing between his girlfriend Bambi and “friend” Erica Pinkett. After Scrappy's ladies' club fight disrupted her prince’s “Dirty 30” birthday party last week, Momma was determined to get her "palace" in order.
Erica Pinkett warned Momma Dee that “a king should not be walking with a peasant” before the latter set up an ill-fated meet-and-greet between the two pugilists to resolve their issues and learn "their position."
“An even swap won’t be a swindle,” Momma Dee said.
A quick Google search revealed that the correct colloquialism, “a fair exchange ain’t no robbery and an even swap ain’t no swindle,” means that one party will do an equal action to or for the other in exchange for an equal action. No idea how that adage applies in any way shape or form here.
Momma Dee’s old-fashioned sit-down blew up in her face, though, when a seemingly calm Erica heard the bell ring and tried to bum-rush the Bambi with a flurry of fists -- payback for getting sucker-punched by Bambi.
Luckily, the show’s security stepped in to diffuse the situation while somehow managing to reveal that Erica was wearing fake Christian Louboutins. Momma Dee’s meddling ways were the final straw for Bambi, who declared that she no longer cared for her son and was “done.”
Mimi Faust and Dawn were still out to expose Stevie J and Joseline’s alledged fake marriage, even confronting Steebie in front of Benzino to force a retraction from his magazine. Sleazy and Zino relented, with the former inventing his own governing body.
“I’m a sovereign,” he said, rebuking the ladies’ notion that a legal government document had to be on file to validate his nuptials. “I’m my own government. I make my own laws. In Stevie J we trust.”
Waka Flocka Flame was back in town and spent some quality time with Tammy in their deluxe apartment in the sky. For some reason, producers felt the need to add subtitles to every thing the rapper said.
(Overheard on Twitter: “How Waka get subtitles but Joseline don’t?”) Excellent point.
Tammy sought Waka’s sage advice on her burgeoning quarrel with Joseline over her lack of an engagement ring and the “Round of Applause” MC’s response didn’t disappoint.
"Hoes will praise rings, but women will praise their situation,” he told her before giving her a kiss.
That settles that.
Although viewers have seen more than enough of Mimi and Nikko in bed to last 10 lifetimes, the couple was seen in their boudoir celebrating their one-year anniversary. This time they were just having turkey bacon, instead of um, making bacon.
Rasheeda and Kirk’s cover photo shoot for Sister 2 Sister magazine hit a few road bumps with Rasheeda’s mother, Shirleen, in the picture, calling her son-in-law a "ratchet ass." The stress of it all kept the rapper from getting the most out of her studio session with Kalenna and husband Tony. After hearing about her friend’s marital problems, Kalenna suggested a girls' trip to New Orleans as the perfect relationship cure-all.
Booze and beignets. That’ll fix Kirk.
Benzino represented for all the brothers on lock when he suggested to Stevie that Joseline’s photo shoot would be popular with the dudes “up North.” Now that’s something every man wants his wife to aspire to.
For the closer, Tammy dressed down Joseline in a local watering hole for all of the shade she threw her way. Joseline wasn’t having it, though, telling her she doesn't need any new friends and that women “can’t take her personality” before bolting for the door.
Not to be outdone, Tammy fired off an incendiary parting shot of her own: “You went from a stripper, to a prostitute, to a hoe. Humble yourself, b-tch.”
“Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” airs Monday nights at 8 p.m. on VH1.