Warning: Major spoilers from last night's "Game of Thrones" are ahead!
The battle between the Red Viper of Dorne and the Mountain That Rides is over. Who won? Who lost? Have you recovered from the results yet, or is your brain still exploding?
Those answers, and plenty more questions, after the image below.
Wait, That Didn't Really Happen, Did It?
It happened. It looked like he was about to conquer the Mountain, and then in a flash, it was over. Oberyn Martell is dead. The breakout character of the season, who seemed poised for an even bigger role as "Game of Thrones" moved forward, is dead. Really, truly, mutilatedly dead, literally at the Mountain's hands. It was rough. It's not just. But that's Westeros for you.
Okay, But What About Tyrion?
Well, that's the question, isn't it? The Mountain emerged victorious, which means Tyrion is on the losing side of the trial by combat — which means the next stop is the chopping block. Is the show's de facto lead about to meet the same end as Ned Stark? Barring some sort of last-minute miracle, it sure seems like it.
What About The Mountain?
He is in rough shape. Even though Oberyn died, Gregor Clegane sustained his fair share of wounds. Are the injuries severe enough to finish the Mountain off? We'll have to wait and see, but his fate was left intentionally vague.
How Pumped Is Cersei?
Super pumped. All she wants in life is for her impish brother to lose his. Now, it looks like she's going to get what she wants. Will Tyrion's death bring Cersei's son back to life? No — but perhaps it'll help her sleep better at night.
If the axe falls on Tyrion, it won't happen in next week's penultimate episode of the season, "The Watchers on the Wall." Like "Blackwater" in season two, this upcoming episode is poised to center on one battle and one battle only: The Night's Watch versus Mance Rayder's wildling forces. Expect another night of devastation when Sunday rolls around.
Is Sansa The Best Now?
Sansa was always the best, you just weren't paying attention. But last night proved why the elder Stark daughter is one of the shrewdest game-players in the mix. She's learned valuable lessons from her time in King's Landing and traveling with Littlefinger. She knows when to tell the truth, when to lie, and when to combine the two to her advantage. Could Sansa become a big enough mover and shaker to challenge the Iron Throne?
What Happens to Jorah Now?
At least his head isn't floating around Slaver's Bay right now. But it's still not a good situation for the Westeros exile, now removed from Daenerys' inner circle. Jorah is left wandering the desert, off on his own for unknown pastures. Surely we haven't seen the last of Ser Jorah, but who knows when and how he'll resurface.
How Awful is Ramsay Snow?
I assume you mean Ramsay Bolton, because he's all legitimate and stuff now. Yeah, he's horrible, and the North is a scary place with Boltons leading the pack.
Hey, But Seriously, The Red Viper Is Fine, Right?
Sigh. And this is where the "not safe for work" tag comes in, because…
…he's really, truly, super not fine.
What did you think of the Red Viper's demise?