While the rest of us were putting the finishing touches on our megasexy-but-totally-nonfunctional blue latex Mystique unitard, a self-proclaimed mad scientist named Colin Furze has been putting us all to shame, with actual real-life working contraptions that give him the actual powers of the X-Men.
Although not all of Furze’s inventions are created equal — his “Magneto shoes,” though technically functional, definitely do not capture the power and majesty of their namesake — his latest entry into DIY mutation is downright spectacular: a pair of wrist-mounted “Pyro” flamethrowers that are practically indistinguishable from the real thing.
But that’s just the beginning for aspiring X-Men; a quick jaunt around the internet reveals that those who want mutant superpowers of their own can easily…
Slice And Dice Like Wolverine
Yet another of Furze’s inventions: fully-retractable Wolverine claws. No, they’re not made of adamantium… but your enemies won’t know that, now, will they?
Control The weather Like Storm
Grab this nifty weather machine, and bend the elements to your will! Whiteout contact lenses optional, but recommended.
Read Minds Like Professor Xavier
You, too, can look inside the mind of anyone you wish! Just as long as you get that anyone to don this nifty, EKG-reading helmet.
Scream Like (A) Banshee
Strap yourself into this voice amplifier, and wail away.
Walk Through Walls Like Kitty Pryde
According to physicists, the science of transformative optics now makes it possible to build an invisible gateway; an illusory construction that makes an open space look like an impermeable wall. The only downside, of course, is that you would only be able to walk through one wall that you’d built yourself, not through walls in general. That is, unless you wanted to…
Blast Through Walls Like The Juggernaut
Just throw on a suit of heavyweight body armor, a pair of lead-reinforced gloves, and a helmet to keep your face pretty, and you should be able to charge through any wall, provided that wall is made of particle board.
Be A Total Beast
The prehensile feet may be out of reach, but a lifetime supply of hair-growth serum and a whole lot of hair dye can make your big, blue, hairy dreams come true.
Got a favorite mutant superpower you’d want IRL? Let us know in the comments below.