Hey 50 Cent, I Fixed That Awful First Pitch For You

And then decided it would be funnier if you threw a cat.

Listen Fif, I know you’re “not a damn ball player” and all. You’re a master hustler and music mogul. So, I took the liberty of redeeming your bad first pitch at Tuesday’s (May 27) Mets game.

Here you go, sir. A bona fide perfect first pitch:

You’re welcome.

But, while we’re at it, let’s take the pitch and spin up something worth laughing at.

Hero Cat threw a pretty decent first pitch (when you compare it to the ranks of other celebrity pitches). Maybe if you threw him, it would look a little better.

Still bad, but definitely funnier.

How about we take it to the “Candy Shop”?

Right into the crowd!

Better yet, let’s throw some shade at the cameramen who blew up your spot.

All the love, 50. All the love.