Every dog has his day, but Palos Hills High School’s resident weirdo, Kyle, will have to wait a little bit longer for his. Under Sadie Saxton’s tutelage, Jenna Hamilton’s former “Awkward” stalker went from zero to hero in the Mr. PHHS pageant, and nearly claimed the come-from-behind title. But in the end, he was narrowly edged out by the newly popular Tyler Miller, whose commitment to securing world peace simply couldn’t be ignored (snore…).
And we’re happy for Tyler. We really, really are. But we have to say — this is some crap! For years, Mr. PHHS has handed out gold medals to smooth operators with movie star smiles, and Kyle’s crowning would have meant that PHHS finally acknowledged there’s some talent that’s fostered outside of the cool kids’ bubble. Who else can paint upside-down jacked gentlemen in cerulean paint? Who else has a passion for “staying indoors, tweezers and smelling dead things” (solid assessment, T!)? Who else has comforting dreams of eating human flesh at sushi restaurants? NOBODY BUT OUR KING, KYLE! In our eyes, he’ll always reign supreme. Sigh…
Like a true gentleman, Kyle took his defeat in stride (after admitting to wetting the bed), but we’re still a bit sore. Look back at his journey to the stage in this video, and tell us if you’re #TeamKyle, too!
Poster: Christina Buquid