With graphics by Janelle Myers
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are set to tie the knot during a star-studded European wedding this weekend, but where there are A-list guests there are bound to be “Wedding Crashers” — right? Stars like Jay Z and John Legend are expected to show up at the nuptials, but there might be a few uninvited guests who want to crash this party.
At this point, Taylor Swift can laugh at that whole VMAs incident where Kanye ran up on her and, you know the rest… but that doesn’t mean she’s beyond the idea of getting revenge. Could there be any better moment at this wedding than watching the pop star crash KimYe’s first dance, or one of their best toasts to yell, “Kanye and Kim I’ma let you finish — but Jay Z and Beyoncé had the best wedding!”
Where to even start with this one? Kim’s infamous sextape with Ray J is, well, infamous, so it’s hard to comprehend why the
R&B singer Brandy’s brother continues to release songs like “I Hit It First.” He really wants to make sure everyone knows that he once dated with the most famous Kardashian, so maybe he’ll show up with a new song just for their special day.
George W. Bush
Poor “Dubyah” experienced the “low point” of his presidency when Kanye got on TV in 2005 and pretty much called him racist. It took him awhile to get over the shock of that moment, but if he hasn’t fully recovered, this is the best opportunity for him to return the favor: “Kanye West Does Not Like Khaki Trench Coats With Jeans And Off Brand Work Out Sneakers!”
Some Hollywood friendships just can’t survive the ups and downs of fame, and Kim and Paris Hilton certainly didn’t last for very long. For a moment Paris was the queen of reality TV, but eventually Kim and her family took that shine away with their own hit series. We’re not saying that Paris is bitter, or anything, but she’d probably get some pleasure out of ruining Kim’s third wedding.
For a minute there, it seemed like Kris would’ve been the perfection new “K” addition to the Kardashin Klan, but alas, things just didn’t work out. The NBA player wasn’t too thrilled with the way things unraveled, and he apparently gave Kim a hard time while finalizing their divorce. Speak now Kris Humphries, or forever hold your peace.
It’s not often that Kim ditches the ditzy act to call someone out, but last year Katie Couric really rubbed her the wrong way. Kim was all kinds of peeved when the TV anchor sent her a gift for her baby North, after making some disparaging comments about the family in public. “I don’t understand – why are they so famous? I think it’s mostly teenage girls that are interested,” Couric said of the Kardashians. Kim’s response? “IHateFakeMediaFriends #MayIHumblySuggestYouNotSendGiftsThenTalkSh–.” Couric has since apologized, but she probably didn’t land an invite, so it’ll be awkward when she shows up with another gift in hand.
That Guy Who Rapped To ’Ye On The Street
Kanye was polite enough to stop outside of his apartment door in SoHo and listen to this dude rap, before eventually excusing himself to go to bed. Yeezus hasn’t given that kinda attention to someone on the streets since he listened to Big Sean rap outside of a Detroit radio station. And since this lucky guy already got his first big break, he might just pop up at the wedding to finish previewing his full mixtape.
Holy long-running feud. The former G.O.O.D. Music rapper was once very close with Kanye (and was reportedly a ghostwriter for some of ’Ye’s earlier music) but things went very sour after he parted ways with the label. Cons has since threatened to fight Kanye, and claimed that he escorted him to secret rendezvous with Kim, while she was still dating Reggie Bush. He’s taken this feud to the radio and beyond, might as well air it out for the final time during the wedding.