It might be only a throwaway line in a very short interview from Cannes, but Robert Pattinson’s parting words to a reporter will nevertheless make you shriek in heartbroken agony.
“I couldn’t do another ’Twilight’ movie. I’m too old,” Pattinson said in an interview with Variety.
This is unwelcome news for “Twilight” fans, who are still dealing with a lot of complicated feelings about the beloved saga being over; but who have always at least been able to take comfort in the knowledge that if another movie were made, at least we could count on R-Pattz always being there to reprise his role as the sparkly, angsty Edward Cullen.
But don’t lie down in despair yet, “Twilight” lovers! Because despite Robert’s ridiculous claim that he’s too old to be your undead boyfriend anymore, the good news is that he’s obviously wrong. Why?
Because He Still Looks Exactly The Same
Photographic evidence from the current Cannes Film Festival clearly shows that just like his “Twilight” character, Robert Pattinson does not actually age like an ordinary human. You can’t fool us, Pattz: we know a fresh, hot, youthful Edward Cullen is lurking underneath that perma-scruff.
Even if Robert looked noticeably older than his 2008 self, Hollywood’s magical CGI wizardry could shave the years off in a flash. If special effects could make this man convincingly sparkle in the sun like a disco ball, they can certainly get rid of a fine line or two.
Because Plot Twists!
What’s to stop Edward from using some heretofore undiscovered vampire magic to give up his immortality, a.k.a. the act colloquially known as, “pulling an Arwen”? Nothing, that’s what, which means that our hope for a new “Twilight” movie can stay alive for as long as Pattinson does.
Because “forever” means FOREVER, people.
We don’t care if he’s ancient, stooped, wrinkled, balding, or sporting a pair of Churchillian jowls: Robert Pattinson is Edward Cullen. And while no measure of time to love and embrace him as our vampire boyfriend could be long enough, we’ll start with forever.