After the rousing end of the trial of Tyrion Lannister, the latest episode of “Game of Thrones” was one of ’dem in between episodes. A bridge, if you will, between the big events coming towards the end of the season.
But that doesn’t mean nothing big happened. Let’s throw a few things through the Moon Door and see what stuck on “Mockingbird:”
A Tyrion Carol
Tyrion is visted in his jail cell by three
ghosts compatriots, all of whom the littlest Lannister tries to recruit to fight Cersei’s champion: The Mountain.
The same Mountain, we should mention, who’s reintroduced chopping human beings in half for fun.
spirit visitor is Jaime, who is angry his brother threw his life away to prove a point the people of King’s Landing, “will be talking about for days,” he says sarcastically. Tyrion wants Jaime to fight for him, since the last time there was trial by combat — back at the Eyrie in season one — Jaime wasn’t around. This time, Jaime has only one hand, and laments he can’t help.
The second is Bronn, who has been bought off by Cersei with a title, a new wife and more riches than he can imagine. He offers the chance for Tyrion to buy him back, but Tyrion has nothing to offer. In a brief bit of tenderness that wasn’t shown in the book, Bronn holds Tyrion’s hand for a moment longer than necessary. It’s a bittersweet moment as we realize the sell-sword won’t be around to protect the half-man anymore.
The third visitor is Oberyn Martell, who tells a story of meeting Tyrion as a little baby. He was expecting a monster, but found that the true monster was Cersei. “I will be your champion,” Oberyn tells Tyrion, and the world cheers — then gets nervous that Oberyn might get chopped in half.
Jon Snow Gets Wall-ed Out
This week’s scene at The Wall is basically there to remind us that stuff is still happening at The Wall. Jon Snow and his buds return from the massacre at Craster’s, with Jon reminding
the audience Alliser Thorne that there are still Wildling armies everywhere. That’s pretty much all that happens.
This Week On Lil Ass-Kicker And The Hound
Arya Stark continues to be the biggest bad-ass in Westeros, telling a dying man who begs for oblivion that, “Nothing isn’t better than anything. Nothing is just nothing” — and then stabbing the man’s killer coldly through the heart.
But everything isn’t all stabby stabby in Arya & The Hound land. Our favorite burn victim reveals it was his brother who gave him those scars, and Arya lovingly helps him sew up a wound he got from an attacker. Hey, it’s still pretty gross, but it’s also the most tenderness we’ve gotten on this show, maybe ever.
Naked In Meereen
Yeah, butts! So many butts! Daario tells Dany he’s only good for two things: killing people, and killin’ it with the ladies. So she asks him to do what he does best, and take off his clothes.
In return for a night of hot luv, Dany sense Daario off to kill the masters of Yunkai… Though Jorah ends up convincing her to send Hizdahr zo Loraq with Daario, in order to offer the masters a choice: join or die.
Boy, who will Dany choose? The hot football player, or the nerd?
Melisandre Takes A Bath
There’s honestly not much that needs to be added to this, it’s even more of a placeholder than the Wall scene. We saw a male butt in Meereen, so we need to see a lady butt, too. I guess?
The Epic Return of Hot Pie
Seriously, I never thought I’d be so excited to see Hot Pie, but he’s back! Brienne and Podrick stop at the Inn at the Crossroads, where Hot Pie is making his namesake. After a hilariously awkward encounter, HP reveals he knows where Arya Stark is — or where she last was.
He gives Brienne a direwolf bun to take to her, with the back-on-the-road duo now having a choice to make: follow the path they were on, or go to the Eyrie, where it’s entirely possible the Starks might be visiting their Aunt. Naturally, they head on the other road, ignoring the Eyrie, even though that’s exactly where one of the Starks they’re looking for currently resides.
Lysa Takes The First Flight Out Of The Eyrie
Sansa, finally somewhat happy, does her best “Frozen” impersonation, building a snow version of Winterfell… Only to have it smashed by her insane cousin Robin. She then smashes him back in the face, in a moment that needs to be mashed up with Tyrion slapping Joffrey from season one. Get on it, Internet.
Robin runs out of the room, and then Littlefinger approaches, telling Sansa not to worry, and explaining he killed Joffrey because he loved her mother, Catelyn. And then Littlefinger kisses Sansa… “Coincidentally” in plain sight of his wife, Lysa.
Also, “coincidentally,” totally gross.
Lysa, in revenge, nearly kills Sansa until Littlefinger calms her down.
“I have only loved one woman. One. My entire life,” Littlefinger tells a happy Lysa. “Your sister.”
And then he throws his wife, Sansa’s Aunt, Lysa Arryn, their protector… out the Moon Door to her death.
What did you think of “Mockingbird?” Favorite moment? And is Littlefinger really doing all of this for Catelyn, or himself?