Ayo, Justin Bieber. Listen. We're all for the "confidence" that comes with unique facial hair, but we draw a hard and fast line at the dirtstache. If you're going to be a a shower, you better also be a grower, because ain't nobody got time for a mid-level dusty cruststache.
Hopefully the fancy free-stuff gift bags they gave away at the Vanity Fair Armani party you went to on Sat., May 17 in Cannes -- where your plus one was the caterpillar currently parked on your upper lip -- came with free fancy razors. If so, please get involved.
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