Yes, folks: We’re dissecting ice cream excursion photos here, as the duo formerly known as Kim Kardashian and Kanye West — once unified, they will only be known as Kimye forevermore — are in Paris, getting their pre-marital bliss on in preparation for The Wedding of The Millennium To End All Weddings And Also Millenniums. Still the question must be begged: Why are you so angry at that cream of ice?
Surely, there must be something more at play here. Because there is nothing about sweet cream dreams, crafted in icy perfection, that should make anyone upset or even vaguely annoyed.
Maybe they only had caramel but Kanye wanted mint chocolate chip?
Maybe the cone was not evenly golden brown, causing the rapper to reminisce about those waffle cones he loved back in Chicago?
Maybe he’s more of a Dreyer’s man than a Häagen-Dazs enthusiast (maybe it’s a point of contention in the Kimye relationship)?
Maybe he didn’t even want ice cream at all — Kim had a craving, though, and the bride always gets what she wants — and the waning availability of his favorite French specialty made him melancholic?
Or maybe he was just really TO’d that the paparazzi wouldn’t let him just eat his goddamn waffle cone and caramel ice cream IN PEACE, y’all? (Just kidding it could never be that last one because why would anyone ever get annoyed about that?)
Whatever the case may be, get a reality check, Kanye: You’re eating mothereffing ice cream in mothereffing Paris AND will soon marry the woman of you dreams!!!! GET INTO IT!