It’s been over a week since Rihanna reportedly deleted her Instagram account, but that Rihanna pain just won’t let up. We didn’t know what we had until we lost it, you know? Oh, wait! We did know because @badgalriri was literally the greatest gift that the world had ever been #blessed with, and NOW. IT’S. GONE.
How could “The Monster” singer just do that to us? Can the Founding Fathers simply “delete” the Constituion? What next? Will Jesus pop down to #BOOP the Bible?! PROBABLY NOT, so why is Rihanna allowed to do the same?
OK, so maybe those comparisons are a bit of a reach (maybe), but Rih did so much good with her social-media presence that you can’t really fault me for ’em. Thanks to @Rihplies’ painstaking documentation, we now know that the 26-year-old singer did everything from dole out fashion advice to help some ride-or-die Navy out of an unforeseen predicament with her Instagram comments.
Even worse than the thought of no more new content from @Rihplies ever (BRB, WEEPING), think of all the celebrities we’ve gotten to vicariously meet through Rihanna. When the hell else will you be close enough to Lupita Nyong’o to visually confirm that she is, in fact, in possession of ZERO flaws? Never, I say.
Likewise, how many of you are able to globe-trot from one of Aspen’s snowy mountains to the tropical climes of Barbados in less than a month? Unless you’re Rihanna, NO HANDS SHOULD BE RAISED. Following Rih was like watching some beautiful, alternate-universe version of the Travel Channel where all the multi-pocketed khacki vests were replaced by blunts and red lipstick — in other words, it was perfect.
And, in the midst of all of her glamorous jet-setting, Rihanna even managed to solve a crime or two — albeit, unintentionally. While in Thailand on her Diamonds World Tour, the Bajan beauty snapped a selfie with a slow loris on her shoulder, which eventually led to the arrest of its law-breaking keepers. Your faves could literally… Wait, what’s the word? Oh, that’s right.
Most importantly, checking in with Rihanna’s Instagram on a regular basis brought a little bit of light to my day, and her millions of other followers at the time would probably agree. While trapped on this mortal coil of shame and double downs, do we really need to spend another three or so minutes a day focused on how awful and gross and disgusting the world is?
I think not. So, Rihanna, won’t you please Rih-vive your Instagram — for the good of
my ridiculously sensitive feelings the world?