Owen Wilson Will Play A Talking Crayon. Yes, Really

What secrets lurk in the waxy hearts of the actors in 'The Hero of Color City'?

By Kat Rosenfield

If you’ve been longing all your life to see the charming Owen Wilson in the guise of a talking crayon, that is… pretty weird, actually. But hey, it’s your lucky day, weirdo! Because Wilson has officially joined the cast of “The Hero of Color City,” an animated feature film about — you guessed it — a heroic band of talking, adventure-seeking crayons.

The movie already boasts a star-studded cast including Christina Ricci, Wayne Brady and Craig Ferguson (in a standout, non-crayon role.) Wilson is the latest addition, along with “Grey’s Anatomy” actress Jessica Capshaw.

And despite the film’s G rating and lighthearted, whimsical premise, this movie is serious business for the actors on board. Serious, secret, Freudian business. What does it mean that Christina Ricci went yellow for this role? What does Rosie Perez’s ravishing red onscreen epidermis say about the color of her dreams?! Read on for some highly accurate psychological analysis which we are definitely not making up.

The Yellow Crayon: Christina Ricci

Ricci has never quite been able to shed the lingering mantle of Wednesday Addams, the teensy uber Goth and every homicidal cynic’s dreamgirl. But as a sunny, yellow crayon, she has the opportunity to remind us all that, dammit, she can be perky.

The Blue Crayon: Wayne Brady

And clearly, world-famous improv comedian Brady has taken this moment to remind the world that despite his sunny, funny exterior, on the inside he’s… well, y’know.

The Red Crayon: Rosie Perez

We’ve never forgotten Rosie’s mad hot dance moves from the credits for “Do the Right Thing” — and considering that she’s all over the chance to be drenched in red again, apparently, neither has she.

Not A Crayon: Craig Ferguson

The exact nature of Craig Ferguson’s role is a mystery; his character looks like a rudimentary sketch of some sort of flying insect. Could this be the start of his evolution from a late-night talk show host into something completely different? Something deadly? Something creeeeepaaaaay?

Meanwhile, no information is available yet on which color crayon Owen Wilson will play, if he’s playing a crayon at all. But let’s be honest: we all know that no matter what role he’s snagged, and no matter what his character looks like, Wilson’s soul will always and forever be the color of butterscotch.

“The Hero of Color City” will be in theaters this October.