By Maurice Bobb
More sex tape reveals. Benzino’s back with a new woman. It’s “goin’ down” between Karlie and Yung Joc, Lil Scrappy might have to change his name to Papa Scrappy and Kirk Frost somehow one-ups his already douchey persona.
That’s right, “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” fans, the castmembers from everyone’s favorite VH1 reality show managed to plunge themselves deeper into the depths of dysfunction and insanity Monday night and it made for the best/worst in primetime tomfoolery.
Last week, the MacGuffin was Mimi Faust’s sex tape , this time out, it’s Kirk’s secret DNA test. He’s so sure that his wife, Rasheeda, stepped out on their marriage, he actually takes a drugstore paternity test to determine whether newborn son Carter is his biological child.
During a “catch-up” meeting with Lil Scrappy, Kirk admits to the scheme, before meeting with Benzino later in the show for the big reveal. Kirk, of course, is afraid to open the results, so after attempting to have the attractive waitress do the deed, ‘Zino plays the role of Maury Povich and clues Kirk in to the fact that yes, he is the father!
“I am the father. Thank you Lord,” Kirk said.
Lost in his hapless happiness, Kirk wanted to go home with the evidence, but Benzino admonished the idea before burning the test result papers for Kirk’s own good.
Speaking of tests, Bambi buys a pregnancy test because she’s “late.” Scrap — who earlier in the episode walked into Erica’s impromptu R&B music video complete with romantic candles — doesn’t love Bambi, but he wants to keep the baby. Heck, even Momma Dee, who calls her “The Bambi,” wants the new couple to keep the baby, going so far as to make a list of things she has to do to ensure a healthy, bouncin’ baby Scrappy.
“I hope Bam ready for Nurse Ratchet,” Scrap said.
Things may be falling apart between Mimi and Nikko after she learned that her struggle-rapper beau, Nikko, spilled the beans about their sex tape deal to Stevie J.
“You think it’s funny? Get the f–k out,” she yelled, before storming out of her own car on the side of the road.
Stevie J and Joseline discuss his run-in with Nikko at the gym before Chef Sleezo hosted a dinner at the “White House” for Benzino and new “bae” Althea, serving up dishes on their new Versace plates.
“He’s a thirst bucket,” Steebie said of the burgeoning porn king over dinner.
Joseline chimed in with her thoughts on Mimi: “First you a maid, now you a porn star.”
Enter the new happy couple. While plotting their proposed joint venture, “Sleezy and Zino’s Bistro & Bar,” where all the “best baddest bitches” will convene, viewers learn that ‘Zino swam in Althea’s DMs on Twitter like Michael Phelps to win her affections.
Joseline is still not convinced, though, and warns Althea that she’s going to keep an eye on her to make sure ‘Zino doesn’t get hurt.
Erica also has a new bae named O’Shea. (Wonder how Ice Cube feels about that?) Erica’s O’Shea is a model and one would know this because it’s right there in plain sight, written on the front of his snapback. Karlie gives him the thumbs up, but when he asks for Erica’s credit card to pay the tab that he offered to pick up, viewers learn that he may not quite be the upgrade Erica needs.
Joc and Karlie discuss moving into a new house together, but that may be in jeopardy after Karlie’s studio session got steamy, with R&B singer Jeremih touching her and grinding up on her like they were on the dance floor during a slow jam.
Enter “Jealous Joc,” who threw a temper tantrum and sped off with haste in his not-so-luxury SUV, after telling his future roommate to “kick rocks, bitch.”
“Love & Hip Hop Atlanta” airs on Monday nights at 8 p.m. on VH1.