The rumor of a “Lethal Weapon” remake got me thinking. I really shouldn’t be surprised anymore when a well liked, recent-ish movie gets the reboot treatment.
So why not just start preparing for some of the most beloved movies in recent memory to become remakes in 20 years? It will honestly save a lot of heartbreak later on in life.
So join with me, as I take a look at the movies that are almost definitely getting future remakes.
Sure, there’s a sequel on the way, but give it a decade or two. The remake for Steven Soderbergh’s stripper drama will come. Some exec will have a hot, young star they want to showcase in a big way, and soon enough we’re watching a trailer with the throwback tune “We Found Love.”
Of course the Ryan Gosling and Nicolas Winding Refn existential crime movie doesn’t need a remake, but that’s why it will get one. The (real human being and a real) hero will be a fast-talking wheelman that operates by a strict set of rules. There will be at least ten chases, and the graphic violence will get downgraded to a pleasant PG-13. Sorry, Christina Hendricks’ exploding head.
“13 Going on 30″
A teenage boy in 2013 has a crappy birthday and wishes to be a thriving 30-year-old. He gets his wish, but the year 2030 isn’t quite what he hoped it would be. The new “Call of Duty” game doesn’t use an Xbox controller, but is a highly realistic, highly traumatizing virtual reality experience. And look at that! We turned it back into “Big.”
“You know what this expertly paced sci-fi gem needs? A dozen mindless action sequences.” — Some Awful Person
Live Action “Frozen”
There may be sequels and spin-offs to come, but twenty years from now, Disney will be looking for a new way to cash-in on last year’s animated phenomenon. It’s the natural life cycle of animated Disney animated hit: “101 Dalmatians,” “Alice in Wonderland,” “Maleficent.” Coming to theaters in 2034, “Anna & Elsa.”
While the Hollywood of today is working its way through all of Nicholas Sparks’ bibliography, the Tinseltown of 2034 is just starting to re-adapt the romance books. The natural place to start is the timeline-jumping love story of Noah and Allie.
“It’s like the original movies, but for a new generation! Let’s cast one of the Jolie-Pitts.”
The nature of high school may never change drastically, but the minutia that made Tina Fey’s movie a modern classic is always evolving.
“Back to the Future”
If “Back to the Future” hasn’t already been remade by 2034, someone won’t be able to resist the urge to send a plucky character back to the year 2014. Imagine it! Without automated cars, our hero won’t know how to drive herself. And boy, will people be confused when she mentions President Beyoncé.
Wouldn’t it be crazy if Disney made a new version of Pixar’s first feature, but instead of everything being computer animated, only the toys were? It would be like “The Smurfs,” but with Woody and Buzz, and just different enough for people not to complain about the retread.
What movie do you predict will get a remake? Tell us in the comments.