‘Star Wars: Episode VII': 23 Burning Questions About J.J. Abrams’ 23-Second Video Selfie

No interrogation droid necessary.

It wouldn’t have been Star Wars Day without a message from the guys who are making “Star Wars: Episode VII.” And happily, director/writer J.J. Abrams, and writer Lawrence Kasdan delivered with a video selfie from the set of the newest film in the saga.

Embedded from www.youtube.com.

Yes, the video is less than half a minute long, but that doesn’t mean we can’t analyze it to death. Here are 23 questions we have about the video, one for each second:

1. What’s a Video Selfie? That’s a term Ol’ Grandpa Abrams came up with. Most of us call them selfies. Or videos. But not Mr. “Super 8″ himself, no he has to give it a fancy city name like “video selfie.”

2. Where Are They? London, yes — Abrams says that in the openings seconds of video. But where are they specifically? Is it someone’s house? A set from the new movie? The Tower of London? No idea on this one.

3. Maybe It’s The Millennium Falcon? No, it’s not.

4. What’s In The Cabinets Behind Them? The strikingly white room is only broken up in the background by two bottles in the otherwise empty cabinets. The video is too low-res to read the labels, but given the size and shape of the bottles we’re guessing they’re bottles of wine. Or maybe blue milk.

5. How About Those Curtains? What clues can we glean from the curtains? It looks like there’s a design reminiscent of microscopic organisms, so is Abrams suggesting he’ll be working the controversial midichlorians — bits of genetic matter that allow denizens of the “Star Wars” universe to use The Force — into the new movie?

6. But There’s An Animal Too, Right? It also looks like there’s some sort of crouched animal, possibly a rabbit on the curtains. Maybe Abrams is referencing midichlorians, but indicating that the saga will be going back to the more primal source for the Force. Yeah, that must be it.

7. These Guys Have Families? Abrams next says, “We are desperately missing our families back in California.” Abrams has three kids and a wife named Katie. Kasdan has been married since 1971. Now you know!

8. Why Are They So Desperate? That said, why are they so desperately missing their families. Is this a video selfie, or a ransom note?

9. Kasdan’s Fortune? Kasdan says they are, “very fortunate to be here in London working on the next Star Wars script.” He emphasizes the word “fortunate,” so could it be that the rumors of Kasdan’s gold are true? Perhaps this is the first clue in a worldwide treasure hunt.

10. They’re Still Working On The Script? Wait, hold up, they’re still working on the script? But they already had a table read!!! Came down, you scruffy nerf-herder. After the first table-read with the cast, why wouldn’t you want to tweak lines and possibly even whole plotlines after feedback from the actors? Most big budget movies — including the very first “Star Wars” — changed lines, and even whole scenes while still on set. This isn’t as crazy as it seems.

11. More Cast? Next up, Abrams says, “as casting announcements continue,” which feeds nicely into the rumor that another major female role is still to be announced.

12. Yeah, But It’s Plural? That’s true, he does say “announcements,” which implies there’s still a few more roles that will be, er, rolled out in the next few weeks. Some more bad guys, perhaps? Or cameos like Billy Dee Williams?

13. Production Ramps Up? Yes, that’s the very next thing Abrams says! Production is ramping up to principal photography. They’ve already been shooting some exteriors and other shots, but the cast has yet to get in costume (we assume), or go to the set proper. Hence, ramping up.

14. Talking At The Same Time Is Hard? For Abrams and Kasdan it sure is, as the duo can’t quite say “Star Wars Day” at the same time. Oh well.

15. Wait, What’s Star Wars Day? We covered this over the weekend, but in short “May The 4th” sounds like “May The Force,” so it became “Star Wars Day.”

16. More Video Blogs? If this video selfie is any indication, it seems like there will be a lot more social connection on this film than those from Abrams’ past. That’s in line with the production on the prequels, which regularly posted updates and pictures from the sets. Fingers crossed this is more in line with Peter Jackson’s regular video dairies from the “Lord of the Rings” and “Hobbit” sets, versus Abrams’ usual closed door.

17. How Many Phones Do J.J. Abrams And Lawrence Kasdan Own? We’re guessing only one, based on this video. Maybe they share a line, which would be adorable.

18. What! This Video Is Lame! Why Didn’t They Reveal The Title Of The Movie? Because it was a short video celebrating “Star Wars Day,” and that’s all. Patience, young Padawan.

19. Weren’t There Supposed To Be 23 Questions? Yes. Sorry. It’s a really short video.

“Star Wars: Episode VII” opens on December 18, 2015.

Writer/Editor at MTV News. You can follow him on Twitter, but not in real life because that would be weird.
@azalben