By Kat Rosenfield
Today, in the most upsetting news to come out of King’s Landing since Joffrey Baratheon chopped off Ned Stark’s head: yet another beloved “Game of Thrones” character has made his last appearance this season.
We’re talking, of course, about Ser Pounce, the impetuous cat who interrupted Margaery Tyrell’s secret nighttime tryst with the pre-pubescent Prince Tommen in the show’s most recent episode. According to Vulture, an HBO representative has confirmed that the scene was Ser Pounce’s first and last moment of screen time for the foreseeable future.
Which, let’s be honest, is obviously unacceptable. And with this season not even half over, it is time to dispatch a strongly-worded letter to HBO demanding that Ser Pounce be not just included in future episodes, but given a credit in the title sequence and featured in at least one episode that deals exclusively with his cat adventures in Westeros.
Oh, and we have some ideas about that, too.
Road trip! Let Ser Pounce ride off on horseback to join Brienne and Podrick in the search for Sansa Stark… and make a new friend in the process.
Or, he could go to the Wall, suit up for battle, and get ready to fight the Wildling armies!
Not to mention, after the way he leaped in between the seductive Margaery and the wide-eyed Tommen, this cat’s obvious talent for stopping sexual predators could be put to good use just about anywhere in rapist-ridden Westeros.
Back at King’s Landing, Ser Pounce would make an excellent guard in any one of the palace’s narrow stairwells.
Or he could team up with Varys, using his powers of seduction to learn everybody’s most shameful secrets!
Or perhaps Shae, having lost her first-choice Lion of Lannister, would accept a four-legged member of the family as a furry, loving substitute?
If all else fails, Ser Pounce could be right at home in one of the more exotic brothels of King’s Landing.
And if we absolutely can’t have Ser Pounce back in his original role, then perhaps they can cast the actor who plays him as the new Daario Naharis. I mean, they already replaced the dude once; why not a second time?