Katy Perry is throwing the worst birthday party of all time, and Katy Cats, you're all invited.
The pop star released a teaser titled "World's Worst Birthday Entertainers" for her brand-new "Birthday" music video. Perry introduces us to her "insane friends": Goldie the dancer, Yosef the MC and Kriss the Clown, who give confessional-style interviews about their roles at the party.
Like most of her videos, Katy transforms herself to play each of the entertainers, looking almost unrecognizable as she brings to life a nightmare of a birthday party.
Let us get you further acquainted with the performers who will be attending Katy's "Birthday" when it premiers Thursday.
Goldie "The Dancer"
Katy must have spent hours in the makeup chair bringing Goldie to life. The singer morphs into an old, champagne-loving Vegas lady, who still rocks some skimpy outfits (think fringe crop top) and reveals she may have gotten around with some very famous men back in the day.
"My name is Goldie because of my golden nuggets," Perry says in the clip. "I moved to Las Vegas because I love to dance. I was great friends with all of those boys in the rat pack, have you ever heard that song the lady is a tramp? That might be about me.
Yosef Shulem "The MC"
For her next transformation, Perry slaps on a cheap suit, a mustache, chest hair and a curly wig to portray Jewish MC Yosef Shulem, who works birthdays, Bar Mitzvahs, weddings and funerals ... for a price. However, he also seems to be a stand-up comedian on the side, a bad one at least.
"Did you hear about the rabbi that did free circumcisions?" Perry said. "He only did it for tips."
Kriss "The Clown"
It wouldn't be a birthday party without a clown, but in this case, it would probably be better without. Perry rocks a bright green clown wig, complete with suit and big red nose. Kriss the Clown admits he's just trying to "get some cash on the side," but at least he is willing to share some valuable life lessons.
"Happy birthday, kids. Don't start drinking," he said.
Ace "The Animal Trainer"
Perry slaps on a shoulder-length blonde wig to play Ace the Animal Trainer, who may just be out of a job, since he was too busy eating cake (it's all over her face) and letting the animals defecate all over him. Gross.
For her final alter-ego, Perry morphs into Princess Mandee, complete with pink gown, mask and crown. Mandee is obsessed with Twitter and crushing little girls' dreams.
"I dress up like a princess and paint little girls' faces and stuff and tell them stories and things that won't ever come true," Perry said before adding. "Happy Birthday, bitches!"