11 Times We Laughed Our Asses Off At The 2014 MTV Movie Awards

The show's funniest moments, from dick pics to playing tonsil hockey with Seth Rogen's mom.

This year’s MTV Movie Awards had us busting a gut, from host Conan O’Brien’s historic opening montage to a very unexpected game of tonsil hockey that, surprisingly, did not win an award.
Here are 11 of the funniest moments from the show.

Record-Breaking Opening Montage

It started off with a bang. We got to see Conan nuzzle Elijah Wood in bed, walk in on Adam Sandler on the toilet, catch Danny McBride strapping dynamite to Ed Helms, smash Jack White’s guitar, ask Taylor Swift out on a date and finally solve the mystery of who Banksy is, all in one fantastic montage set to the Kongos’ hit “Come With Me Now.”

New Award Categories

In an attempt to make this year’s Movie Awards the best ever (and keep Grumpy Cat from falling asleep in the front row), Conan introduced the show’s newest categories: Six-Second Vine Videos, all starring Matthew McConaughey; Best Product Placement, which went to “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug” and the Pepsi machine of Middle Earth; and Best Kiss-Fight, for the impeccably choreographed barn smooch-off between Conan and Will Arnett.

Microphone Malfunction

When “Guardians of the Galaxy” star Chris Pratt walked onstage to remind all the folks at home that they still could vote for their favorite movie midway through the show, no one backstage had given him a microphone. But with a series of hilarious gestures, he got the point across.

The Dick Pic

Any Golden Popcorn winner who ran over his or her allotted time during the acceptance speech really had to face the music — except in this case, the music was a dick pic Conan took in the green room before the show. It wasn’t an empty threat. We all saw it. And Channing Tatum was one lucky recipient of the dick pic during his Trailblazer Award acceptance speech.

Zac Eeee-fron

Adele Dazeem’s shirtless boyfriend? Or a funny flub by a flustered Jessica Alba all hot and bothered by the bodacious bods she had to introduce for the Best Shirtless Performance award? We may never know, or care. Because abs.

Seth Rogen Frenched His Mom

It’s all fun and games until Seth Rogen’s mom gets the golden ticket. “Neighbors” stars Dave Franco, Zac Efron and Seth Rogen thought it would be cool to select three lucky ladies from the audience at random to kiss onstage as they introduced the winners for Best Kiss. When one of the lucky dames turned out to be Seth’s “mom,” he proved that he really is a man of his word. It was funny — but probably more funny-strange than funny-ha-ha.

“You Look Like A Dorky Tintin”

Best Kiss winner Will Poulter’s pocket vibrated frantically during his acceptance speech for the kiss between him, Jennifer Aniston and Emma Roberts in “We’re the Millers,” just as the star was bragging about how happy the three of them are together now, because you know, that’s what happens when actors share such an intense experience. It was Jen. She called him a doucher on live television. Poor little guy.

Objectifying Men

The stars of “The Other Woman” (Leslie Mann, Cameron Diaz, Kate Upton and Nicki Minaj) presented the award for Best Male Performance in the best way they knew how: by completely objectifying all the nominees. Leslie Mann wanted to wolf down Leonardo DiCaprio’s Wall Street. Cameron Diaz likened Bradley Cooper’s tight curls in “American Hustle” to those of her grandmother — but in an erotic way. And perhaps most memorable was Nicki Minaj’s invitation to Matthew McConaughey to play her bongos.

Orlando Throws Down A Challenge

Actor Orlando Bloom won Best Fight for his epic battle with Orcs in “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug,” and talked smack about Ron Burgundy, whose latest news team clash was also up for the award. “Legolas versus Ron Burgundy,” Bloom said. “Anytime, anyplace.”

The “You’re Too F—ing Old To Come Back” Award

Mark Wahlberg’s Generation Award acceptance speech was one for the record books — for most f-bombs ever dropped while accepting an award on live television. But the onetime rapper and underwear model pulled it off poetically. “This is ‘you’re f–ing done.’ But you know what, it was a great run.” But with the “Entourage” movie in the works for next year, we suspect he’s far from f—ing done.

Spidey’s Password

There was a crisis of epic proportions going on backstage before the world premiere of the exclusive clip from “The Amazing Spider-Man 2.” The clip was on Andrew Garfield’s computer, and he couldn’t remember his password. Co-stars Emma Stone and Jamie Foxx couldn’t either. So the Geek Squad’s most valuable asset, Conan O’Brien, was sent to help, and hilarity ensued. Let’s just say, never make “I’d like to shag your lorry” your password.