Warning: Major “Game of Thrones” spoilers are ahead. Turn away now unless you’re all caught up.
“Ding, dong, the witch is dead…”
If that “Wizard of Oz” tune is playing on an endless loop in your head right now, and has been since last night, then you know what we know: At long last, “Game of Thrones” pulled the trigger and killed off the most wicked individual in the universe this side of Adele Dazeem.
That’s right: Joffrey Baratheon is dead, dead, dead. Did we mention dead? He’s totally dead, and it’s totally wonderful.
As much as we want to rejoice, there are too many questions surrounding Joff’s death to enter party mode now. Here are a few of our burning questions stemming from the Purple Wedding :
Seriously, That Happened, Right?
Oh, it happened. But you could be forgiven for thinking otherwise. “Game of Thrones” rarely pulls its punches, but usually, it’s beloved characters like Ned and Robb Stark on the receiving end of the twist. It’s rare that the axe falls on one of the show’s main villains, let alone a Lannister — let alone the most loathsome Lannister by far.
But it happened. It really, really happened, and it was ah-mazing.
Who Killed Joffrey?
Ah, that’s the million-copper question, isn’t it? The list of suspects is long. Ser Dontos looks like he’s involved somehow, based on how quickly he got to the scene and came to Sansa’s side. Was Sansa the one who gave the kill order? It doesn’t feel likely; if Sansa was involved, we would have seen her put the wheels in motion, right?
Could the hit have come from within the family — an order from Tywin, for instance? Or is Tyrion really the murderer, as he’s been accused? How about one of the Tyrells, given what we know of their true feelings toward Joffrey? What about Brienne, who was close enough to Joffrey earlier in the episode to make the move? Or Oberyn Martell, who hates nothing more in life than Lannisters?
The point is, the list of suspects is long. With any luck, we’ll have an answer soon.
Why Did They Do It?
Really? Why? Why would someone want to kill Joffrey Baratheon? We don’t really need to get into the list of reasons, do we? Let’s move on.
How Did They Pull It Off?
Whoever killed Joffrey, it appears the likeliest murder weapon was his cup of wine. Some are speculating that the dove pie was what did the trick. But if that was the case, wouldn’t everyone have shared Joffrey’s gruesome fate?
So, let’s assume it was the wine. Someone poisoned Joffrey’s cup. Who could it have been? And when was it pulled off? Is there something in the scene that we missed — a subtle background shot of someone poisoning Joff’s cup?
Roll the tape, eagle-eyed viewers, and let us know what you see.
What Will Happen to Tyrion?
Everyone’s favorite Lannister stands accused of Joffrey’s murder — at least by Cersei, if no one else. If Cersei pushes hard enough, and if others rally around her accusation, then Tyrion is in deep trouble here.
There was no love lost between Tyrion and Joffrey. Their blood feud was well-known throughout the King’s Landing higher-ups. There are obvious, well-documented reasons for Tyrion to want Joffrey dead. If someone wants to frame Tyrion for Joffrey’s murder, it won’t be difficult.
The harder task will be keeping the Imp alive — and given this show’s track record of killing off main characters at unexpected times, Tyrion’s continued survival is anything but guaranteed.
When Is The Parade?
Seriously, when can we join in the world’s celebration of Joffrey’s death? It sounds like the best party in the universe. Here’s a preview below:
Where Will The Show Go Next?
We’re only two episodes deep into the new season of “Game of Thrones,” and Joffrey Baratheon is already dead. Eight episodes remain. What could possibly happen next? So much is up in the air, but at least one thing is certain: If Joffrey dies in episode two, then the rest of season four is sure to be insane.
What did you think of the latest “Game of Thrones” twist?