But hey, somebody's gotta do it.
And now, with the 2014 edition of MTV's annual fete of bedlam and debauchery just hours away, it's time to get nostalgic.
For the record, this wasn't a simple task. There's a bevy of equally preposterous moments -- remember when James Franco and Seth Rogen lit up onstage?-- but only one can where the crown.
And for that, we'll have to travel all the way back to 2009, when Eminem ended up with Sacha Baron Cohen's rear end in his face.
The "Bruno" actor quite infamously descended upon the audience from above, dressed as an angel -- or, rather, what a male stripper may imagine an angel to look like. Unfortunately, there was a "malfunction" halfway through, and Cohen had to be lowered to the floor -- and directly in the lap of the Relapse MC.
Em wasn't particularly pleased to have Bruno's legs wrapped around his head, yelling "Are you serious?" before quickly leaving the auditorium.
And while his rather irate demeanor made us think he'd never return to the MTV Movie Awards, for some reason, he's coming back tonight perform "Monster" with Rihanna. We warned you, Em.