First off, a lesson in subtweeting. Aaron Carter, listen up.
A subtweet is designed to vaguely address someone bugging you in life, without directly calling out the person. Case in point: One Direction's Zayn Malik properly subtweeted when he wrote "Ask me if I give a motherf--k ?!!" without giving proper background. Great job, Zayn.
But Aaron did it all wrong when he preceded his series of subtweets on Thursday with a retweet of a photo of former girlfriend Hilary Duff.
Aaron, we could've figured out that your tweets about "getting her back" were about your long-lost Disney flame. And some quick advice? You would've been way more mysterious if you left the tweets up to our imagination. Mystery = sexy.
Don't be that stupid douche that loses the love of your life forever.. Like me...— aaron carter (@aaroncarter) March 5, 2014
Look at that tweet. A little self-deprecating, a little depressing, but whatever, I can get past that. But with that tweet alone, I could guess about a few people he might have been talking about. Hilary? Lindsay Lohan (he reportedly left Hilary for her when he was 16)? Beauty queen Kari Ann? Brooke Hogan?
I'll spend the rest of my life trying to better myself to get back to her. I don't care what ANY of you think. 🙉— aaron carter (@aaroncarter) March 5, 2014
The whole mistake of the tweets was that Carter pulled a major Justin Bieber and showed a picture of the person he was talking about. C'mon man! I know it's Aaron's party and you can cry if you want to, but getting the girl back with a public cry of desperation? I'm not sure if it's going to work.
Here's What Not To Do:
"Most elegant princess in the world," Justin tweeted about his ex-girlfriend. Mixed messages, much?
The triangle between Chris Brown, Karreuche Tran and Rihanna can all be decoded through Twitter. Which is great for creepers, but horrible if you're trying to master the subtweet. The three have tried to be vague, but in the end, we call knew what they were talking about.
Not dating anyone stop w the bs.— Karrueche Tran (@karrueche) March 5, 2014
Or take Slyvester Stallone, for example. This would have been an amazing tweet...
GREEDY AND LAZY ...... A SURE FORMULA FOR CAREER FAILURE— Sylvester Stallone (@TheSlyStallone) August 6, 2013
... if he didn't also tweet this!
WILLIS OUT... HARRISON FORD IN !!!! GREAT NEWS !!!!! Been waiting years for this!!!!— Sylvester Stallone (@TheSlyStallone) August 6, 2013
Here's What To Do:
On the other hand, Rih Rih can be really good at the subtweet. Another effective tactic in the subtweeting game is the use of the retweet. For example, Rihanna likes to retweet astrology quotes that could very much be applied to her life.
#Pisces always kept a tight circle...never been interested in temporary friendships.— IG: ThePiscesAreUs (@PiscesAreUs) October 10, 2013
And this. What is she talking about? Who's a broke bitch? So mysterious! Must follow.
I hate broke bitches— Rihanna (@rihanna) September 24, 2013
Kim Kardashian delightfully subtweeted Amber Rose once... or was it about Amber? ... that's the whole fun in guessing. This tweet is confident and has clever wordplay. Aaron, there's definitely something to learn here.
Remember, people only rain on your parade because they're jealous of your sun & tired of their shade— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) January 5, 2012
A quick hashtag can do the trick. It's super dismissive and usually gives you the last word. Nicki Minaj's perfect example occurred after Azalea Banks claimed she was going on tour with Nicki.
Aaron could've used the hashtag #IWantHerBack. Drops mic.
Using "you" can really get people guessing. In this case, Pusha T was probably talking about Lil Wayne, but he might've been talking about a number of other people in show biz.
I think it's safe to say, you really lost it...— PUSHA T (@PUSHA_T) September 1, 2013
No wonder you're freaking out, Aaron! Take these bits of advice for the future and you'll be just fine. Best of luck with Hilary.
That tweet just gave me an anxiety attack 😔— aaron carter (@aaroncarter) March 5, 2014