Echelon, be proud! I'm here to announce that your boy, Jared Leto, has officially won the Academy Award for Best Photobomb of the Night, a completely fictional category I just made up, like, five seconds ago. Take that, Benedict Cumberbatch! Are you beaming? I'm beaming.
While on the red carpet, the Thirty Seconds To Mars frontman must have noticed that Ireland Baldwin's selfie with "Entertainment Tonight" host Nancy O'Dell and "House Of Cards" star Kevin Spacey was missing something crucial: himself.
That's it. I'm officially no longer mad that he made us all look like terrible sons and daughters by taking his mom to the Oscars. (Or, at least not seething. #babysteps) No wonder Jared won Best Supporting Actor for his role in "Dallas Buyers Club"! I literally can't take my eyes off of him mugging in the corner.
Pass me the Visine, because I'm never blinking again.