Great news for bored parents everywhere: Rihanna is about to make kids’ movies bearable.
Or at least one kids’ movie — DreamWorks Animation’s upcoming “Home,” which not only marks RiRi’s voice-acting debut (alongside the likes of Jim Parsons, Jennifer Lopez and Steve Martin), but, apparently, her first foray into concept albums, too.
Yes, according to Variety, Rihanna will create a concept album based on the film, one that will feature new songs. DreamWorks Animation CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg broke the news to reporters while discussing the company’s fourth-quarter earnings earlier this week.
If you ask me, it’s a pretty brilliant move, and not just because I’m all for Rihanna diversifying her portfolio. As it turns out, her music is a natural fit for animated films … especially if savvy studio execs are looking to make ’em a lot raunchier.
Don’t believe me? Check out these cartoon classics, all Rihanna-fied and coming to a theater near you very soon.
“(Pour It) Up”
Pixar turns up the heat in the sequel to their beloved classic, thanks mainly to Rihanna’s salacious stripper anthem. Don’t fret, purists, there’s still plenty of humor and heart … especially when Carl Fredricksen (once again voiced by Ed Asner) literally shows young Russell the ins-and-outs of the champagne room. Rated NC-17.
“The Monster University”
Rihanna and Eminem replace Billy Crystal and John Goodman (too old) as the voices of Mike and Sulley in this upcoming Pixar prequel to the prequel. The entire plot centers around Em moping about the price of fame … only, you know, animated.
“Puss In Boots”
This is just Rihanna walking around in thigh-highs for 90 minutes. It will gross approximately $400 billion worldwide.
“Cars 2: Shut Up and Drive”
Rihanna stars as Lightning McQueen, who has retired from racing and now spends most of his time smoking blunts in hot tubs. Most kids won’t even notice his new Bajan accent.
Forget about kung fu, it’s “chains and whips” that have got Po excited in this third-installment of the DreamWorks franchise. And trust me, you ’re gonna want to see an excited panda in IMAX 3-D.
“Ice Age: Talk That Talk”
OK, even I’ll admit this one is a bit of a stretch. But, hey, they greenlit a “Robocop” remake, so I guess anything’s possible.
People will definitely be talking about the remix, which finds Rihanna re-teaming with her ex Chris Brown. Eddie Murphy sings the hook.
“We Found Love (in a Frozen Place)”
The inevitable sequel to Disney’s massive hit comes complete with an updated version of RiRi’s clubified smash. Calvin Harris once again serves as producer, with Kristen Bell providing guest vocals. Rihanna is a snowman or something. I don’t know, I still haven’t seen “Frozen.”