Gird your loins, dystopiaddicts, because the countdown has begun: In just under one month "Divergent" will premiere in theaters, finally bringing to life the most feverishly anticipated YA adaptation since "The Hunger Games."
The good news is there are a mere 29 days to go before we can finally see Tris, Four and all the thrilling faction action of "Divergent" on the big screen. The bad news is, those 29 days need some regimented structure lest we all get so hysterically excited about the impending premiere that our brains begin to liquefy and leak out of our ears.
And if you need a way to occupy yourself during these final thrilling weeks before the movie comes out, look no further than this schedule of activities that'll help you fill the hours:
Day 1: Gather your community in The Hub (or a Hub-like venue) for a ceremonial kickoff to the final countdown to the "Divergent" premiere.
Day 2-3: Begin immersing yourself in the world of the series with a reading (or re-reading, or re-re-reading!) of "Divergent."
Day 4: Determine your perfect faction with this highly scientific quiz.
Day 5: If you haven't pre-ordered tickets to a release-day screening, do so now. If you have pre-ordered them, spend the next 48 hours gently caressing them and whispering, "My precious! My preciousssssssssss!"
Day 6: Plan your outfit for the premiere. It will be Abnegation Gray, of course.
Day 7: No, wait, scratch that: the outfit will be Dauntless Black.
Day 8: No, wait. Erudite Blue? Amity Red? A classic Candor suit and tie? Ugh. Blargh. Who knew that choosing a fashion faction would be so damned difficult? Why are you having such a hard time with this? OH MY GOD. COULD YOU BE DIVERGENT?!
Day 9: Make like Beatrice "Tris" Prior, and choose a cool, new nickname to adopt after "Divergent" changes your life. If your name doesn't conveniently shorten itself to a tough-sounding nickname like "Tris," naming yourself after a number is also acceptable. Nobody will mess with a guy named "One Thousand, Seven Hundred And Twenty-Eight."
Day 10: Achieve maximum fitness for your Dauntless audition with a Divergent-inspired workout. Despite the authentic draw of doing so, do not attempt to get fit by leaping on and off of moving trains.
Day 11: Nice cast, bro. So, you didn't heed our advice about avoiding moving trains, did you. You got beaten up by a railway hobo, didn't you.
Days 12-14: Read (or re-read) "Insurgent" while you recover from your train-and-hobo-related injuries.
Day 15: Halfway there! Celebrate with a bowl of delicious, gray Abnegation gruel.
Days 16-18: Jet off to Chicago for a whirlwind tour of all the locations mentioned in the books. Bonus points for having an altercation with your snotty brother in front of the Millennium Park bean sculpture.
Day 19: Break in to a local amusement park with a band of misfit thrill-seekers and reenact the "Capture the Flag" scene from "Divergent" on the ferris wheel.
Day 20: Wake up in a jail cell and attempt to explain to skeptical police officers, again, that you were only trying to prove your courage in order to avoid the horror of ending up... [insert small, horrified shriek here]... factionless.
Day 21: Spend all day glued to your laptop, engaging in a virulent internet flame war with some troll who keeps insisting that if Bella Swan and Tris Prior were to get in a fight, Bella would win. This aggression will not stand, man. It will. Not. STAND.
Days 22-24: Read "Allegiant."
Days 25-26: Lie on the floor of your closet, sobbing, for no less than 36 hours. (This is non-optional, because of reasons.)
Day 27: Stare at this gif of Theo James' face until it starts making you feel uncomfortable.
Day 28: Practice your knife-throwing skills.
Day 29: YOU DID IT, INITIATE. Gather your wits, kiss your family goodbye, and hop a train to your local premiere. Have fun. Beware the hobos.
"Divergent" hits theaters March 21.