It was the most exciting moment in sports ever to involve multiple uses of the word "twizzle:" At the Olympics in Sochi, American ice dancing team Meryl Davis and Charlie White edged out Canadian team Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue for the Olympic gold medal in ice dancing.
In a year where American favorites have been mostly underperforming, the ice dancing competition was a spangled, sparkly spectacle upon which to pin all our hopes and dreams, with its pretty people, crazy costumes and one of the most longstanding (and wildly photogenic!) athletic rivalries at this year's games. In other words: Hollywood would be nuts not to seize the moment and make a movie out of it.
But who could take on the challenge of playing its various characters? Let's discuss!
Photo Credit: Christopher Polk/Getty
Meryl Davis and Charlie White aren't just a pair of talented athletes; they have a phenomenal connection on the ice that's palpably exciting to watch, all exacerbated by the fact that Charlie is a serious cutie and Meryl literally looks like a Disney princess come to life.
So, though the ice dancers themselves aren't dating, a movie about their Olympic journey clearly calls for a couple actors who not only look the part, but have well-established chemistry both onscreen and off.
Photo Credit: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic
In real life, the Davis and White versus Virtue and Moir rivalry is fierce but good-natured: Both teams train in the same facility and even share a coach. But as onscreen antagonists, we'd need these two to not only have their own great couples' chemistry but also to bring the sass — the better to savor the moment when they come in second to the heroic leads.
As previously mentioned, former Soviet ice dancing champion Marina Zoueva is the coach for both teams. In a movie, she'd have to be comic relief — or in other words, an excellent opportunity for Tina Fey to do the above again.
And let's not forget Patricia Clarkson and Connie Britton to play the skating moms! Also, because every movie needs a scene in which the despondent heroes wander into a bar, verging on quitting and end up being talked into greatness by an unlikely and mysterious guru, we should probably grab Zach Galifianakis to make a cameo... As Bode Miller. Yep.
You're welcome, Hollywood. We await your invitation to serve as casting director for this sure-to-be-phenomenal ice dancing drama.