We’re talking about Valentine’s Day, the time that tries men’s souls. The big (totally bogus) holiday is less than 24 hours away, and chances are you don’t have squat planned for that special someone. And thanks to the jerks at “Saturday Night Live,” that last-minute run to CVS is no longer an option.
So with time ticking down, what are you supposed to do? Well, for starters, stop worrying. The “Workaholics” have a plan to make the day — and the night — extra special. And highly sexual, too.
“We love love, so this is an exciting topic for us,” Adam DeVine said. “Like, most guys would tell you it’s all about a good butt and some boobs, but not us. I mean, it is about them, but also it’s also about, uh, other things.”
Like, for example, choosing the right words to woo your potential Valentine:
“My favorite pickup line of all time is ’Hey, nice butt … do you wipe it?’ ” Anders Holm said. “Then if they go, ’No,’ you say, ’Well, can I?’ And if they say ’Yes,’ you know they have a clean butt.”
“Yeah, that’s how we fell in love with him,” DeVine added.
Once you’ve wooed, it’s time to wow your date with a romantic dinner. And, no, it doesn’t matter that you’re broke. In fact, that will only make the night more special.
“The thing is, be ironic, right? Take her to TGI Fridays, and be like, ’This is so hilarious, right? What if we just got a side salad … this is fun, and we’re not spending a ton of money and just going in on this corporate holiday,’ ” DeVine explained. “She’s laughing, and then, who knows, maybe we won’t even order, we’ll just go back to the house and have sex with each other?”
Of course, if that fails, you can always look to get lucky on Tinder or Grindr … and, yes, the guys have some tips to help spruce up your profiles. Like they said, they love love.
“I say pay for a professional photographer, and maybe it’s themed?” DeVine suggested. “You’re dressed as Superman and you’re coming out of a telephone booth, so people know that you’re fun, you’re funny, also you’re into comics … very hot right now.”
“Are GIFs allowed on there? ” Blake Anderson asked. “I would use a GIF. You could be, like, helicoptering you wiener.”