There’s a new head witch in town, but did your favorite Reign Supreme?
“American Horror Story: Coven,” the third installment of Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk’s twisted drama, drew to a close on Wednesday (January 29), crowning a new Supreme and killing all those in her way (plus a few who weren’t, but were just unlucky). So what exactly went down on “Seven Wonders”? Read on for more.
Stevie Nicks returns in full force for the finale, floating through the house and singing Fleetwood Mac’s 1987 hit “Seven Wonders.” The cold open finds our young witches practicing their skills as Stevie leaves them with a simple “Good luck, girls.” Hey, at least it was an excuse to see more shawl-twirling from Misty before…
A Deadly Test
The first three tests go off without a hitch: pyrokinesis (to control fire with the mind), telekinesis (to control objects with the mind) and concilium (to control someone else’s mind). But the stakes are raised when the girls must practice descensum (to move between life and the afterlife). We already knew Queenie had this skill set down, and now it seems Madison and Zoe can do it, too. (Madison’s hell? “I was stuck on a network musical. It was a live version of ’The Sound of Music.’ I wasn’t even the lead, I was Liesl,” she whined. Zoe’s hell was a less amusing, never-ending breakup with Kyle.) Unfortunately for Misty Day, she isn’t able to return to the living and finds herself stuck in a high school biology class where she is forced to resuscitate, and then kill again, a helpless frog, while her body on earth evaporates into a pile of dust.
It’s All Fun And Games Until Someone Gets Impaled
Zoe is next to meet her maker as the girls’ seemingly harmless game of transmutation (transporting oneself to another location) tag goes awry. The fun and games come to a screeching halt when Zoe finds herself impaled atop the property’s front gate. Madison is able, but refuses to bring Zoe back to life, while Queenie discovers that she lacks the skill of vitalum vitalis (to bring a person back from the dead). Madison demands to be named the new Supreme.
’You Have Great Power, My Girl’
After a bit of soul searching, Myrtle decides that perhaps Cordelia is actually the next Supreme. “First you were suppressed by your mother, then by your own theories,” Myrtle tells her. Ultimately, Cordelia out performs Madison in the final test, divination (to see the future), and earns her spot as the coven’s new Supreme. In the process of performing the seven wonders, Cordelia brings Zoe back to the living and is able to regain her sight.
’This Is Just Some Jacked-Up Version Of Celebrity Rehab’
Madison throws a starlet-sized temper tantrum and declares that she will return to Hollywood (“where people are normal,” LOL) and plans to fill TMZ in on all the details of her disappearance. But before she can make her great escape, Kyle strangles her to death for refusing to help Zoe. In his final appearance, Spaulding pops in to help Kyle bury her body.
Fiona And Myrtle Get Proper Sendoffs
Remember when Fiona died last episode? Just kidding! She’s alive, but not doing so well, after planting fake memories in the Axeman’s brain and hiding out in Paris for a few days. She returns to the Coven with the shakes and very little hair to ask Cordelia to put her out of her misery. But after a mother-daughter heart-to-heart (or about as close as Fiona can get to that), she slips off into the afterlife, where she is doomed to spend eternity in a sweet country cottage with the Axeman cooking up catfish dinners. It may be her hell, but he describes it as “heaven.” How, may we ask, did the mass murdering Axeman wind up in heaven?
Myrtle, meanwhile, insists that Cordelia offer up the appropriate punishment for her little melon-balling moment and asks to be burned at the stake. Her final word? “BALENCIAGAAAAAAAAA!”
A New Dawn For The Academy
As the Supreme, Cordelia decides to go public with the school, giving an official interview on national news and calling on witches across the country to seek shelter in their Coven. By her side are Queenie and Zoe, her new council members. “We survived. Up until now, that’s all we’ve done,” she tells newcomers. “But as I look at your faces, all of them beautiful, all of them perfect, I know that together we can do more than survive. It’s our time to thrive.” Bonus: Kyle is the new butler.