The eternally youthful Peter Pan is on his way back to the big screen again, and so is his one-handed nemesis. “Pan,” the next movie adaptation of J.M. Barrie’s book, has reportedly offered Garrett Hedlund the starring role of Hook.
The upcoming film from director Joe Wright will explore the origins of the boy who refused to grow up, telling the story of the orphaned Peter before he became Peter Pan. But that’s not the only thing different about this iteration of the classic tale. Which is to say, this movie’s Captain Hook is one surprisingly fine specimen of hunky manhood! In fact, he might just be the sexiest Hook ever to sail the high seas.
Will “Pan” make Hedlund the de facto king of the oeuvre’s one-handed hotties? Let’s take a look at his competition:
Colin O’Donoghue In ‘Once Upon a Time’
If anyone were poised to compete with Garrett for the title of Sexiest Hook Alive, it would be Colin O’Donoghue, with his depiction of the Captain as a punky bad boy with three-day scruff and world-class smoldering capabilities. But since we prefer our Hooks au naturel, O’Donoghue and his emo eyeliner will have to settle for runner-up.
Sexiness rating: We’d hook up with him.
Rhys Ifans In ‘Neverland’
The lanky Welshman played Jimmy Hook, the man who would later be christened “Captain” in this Syfy miniseries depicting the origin story of Peter Pan. Clean-shaven with straggly blonde hair, Ifans lacked the swagger and swarthy sex factor of a typical Hook. He did, however, have one major edge: unlike the rest of the Hooks on our list, Ifans was in possession of both his hands right up until the series’ denouement, making him the one Captain Hook who would still be able to give really good hugs.
Sexiness rating: Keep the Tic Toc Croc away, it’s time for cuddles.
Jason Isaacs In ‘Peter Pan’
The consummately villainous Isaacs is probably best known for his ice-blonde turn as Lucius Malfoy in the Harry Potter films, but he also went dark’n’curly to play Peter Pan’s one-handed antagonist (as well as the straightlaced Mr. Darling.) Though he chewed a bit too much scenery to be the sensuous Hook of our dreams, his performance did include one shirtless moment that made him a serious contender. A tatted-up captain with a hairy chest? Yes, please.
Sexiness rating: We’d walk the plank for those pecs.
Dustin Hoffman In ‘Hook’
The only sexy thing about Hoffman’s Hook (and we are really reaching on this one) is his occasionally adorable, extremely co-dependent, and ever-so-slightly homoerotic relationship with Smee. Also, his teeth were terrifying. Sorry, D-Hoff.
Sexiness rating: Two out of Smee ain’t bad.