The 9 Most Absurd Things Marnie Said On This Week’s ‘Girls’

And two more ridiculous things said to her.

There was plenty of fun to be had on this week’s episode of “Girls,” “She Said OK”: there was punching, biting and karaoke galore to go around, and Hannah only participated in one of those three activities. However, the highlight of this week’s episode was the sheer ridiculousness that is Marnie (Allison Williams) and her life crumbling around her like a prosecco-sodden macaron.

Her biggest problem nowadays is a video of her covering Edie Brickell & New Bohemians’ “I Am What I Am” in a full ’90s getup, overalls, whiny intonation and all. She am what she am, you know what she mean? Now-ex Charlie apparently posted the video online and Marnie, clinging to the ghost of her dignity, refuses to call him to ask him to take it down (and hilariously shrugs off Shoshanna’s guess that Charlie’s password is “I shaved my pubes into a neat box”). Throw this in a glass with Hannah’s 25th birthday party, add a dash of Adam’s emotionally manipulative sister and garnish with the creepiest pube-centric jump scare of all time and you’ve got yourself this week’s episode.

In honor of Marnie’s hot mess-ness, we’ve compiled the nine most absurd things she said in this week’s episode — and two more that were said to her.

» “I don’t have the password. It’s my face. I’m in the video.”

» “Should I send you, like, proof of identification or something so you know it’s me? I can do that. I could like text you my driver’s license or something.”

» “Doesn’t she? I keep telling her she could look like this every day if she wanted.”

» “I’ll have a bunch of, like, party pictures that I can post to Instagram, because I know he checks it. He f—ing checks it!”

» “You know what, you can just leave that in the back room with the rest of the presents.”

» “Hi, my name is Marnie Michaels. I am prominently featured in many of Hannah’s essays.”

» “She’s wearing a birthday bitch hat, like she oughta.”

» “This is an encore performance.”

» [To the dispersing crowd]: “Stay. You can stay.”

And Two Bonus Burns on Marnie:
» Hannah: “Marnie, I cherish you on an interpersonal level. I love this party, the last thing I want to do is sing anything from ‘Rent.’”

» Shoshanna, reading a comment on Marnie’s video: “Show us your tits.”