The pants from “Her” just hit the market in yet another example of life imitating art. Now that everyone can look like Joaquin Phoenix’s Theodore, we thought of some other futuristic fashions we want translated from reel to real life.
1. Katniss’ Wedding Dress From ’Catching Fire’
It was hard not to go with the original flame uniforms from “The Hunger Games,” but this dress is not only awesome, it’s practical. In weddings everywhere, brides have to be completely uncomfortable in a bulky wedding dress for the duration of the night. Imagine if, after the ceremony, you could twirl that beautiful white dress a few times and all of a sudden, it’s a far more comfortable dress that’s way easier to dance with. Oh, and it has wings. We think we’ve made our point.
2. Lando’s Whole Outfit From ’The Empire Strikes Back’
Let’s face it: The “Star Wars” gang was not the best dressed. Luke wore the most drab clothes he could find, even after he got out of Tatooine; Leia’s two biggest fashion statements were her hair buns and her slave outfit, and Han, cool as he was, just wore a little black vest. But not Lando Calrissian. There’s a reason he’s the coolest guy in the galaxy, and while part of it is that he was played by Billy Dee Williams — pretty much the coolest guy in the galaxy anyway — the other was his outfit. It combines the royalty of a blue and gold cape with the casual trendsetting of high blue trousers and a really, really wide belt with a ridiculous emblem in front. Even if this were made available, not everyone would pull it off. But those who did, well…we can’t think of anything they couldn’t do.
3. LeeLoo’s Overalls From ’The Fifth Element’
“The Fifth Element” came out in 1997, but somehow the world still hasn’t caught on to its fashion genius. Specifically, we mean these incredible orange overalls over a skin-tight white crop top made famous by Milla Jovovich. We’re not just talking the ladies here, either. Everyone who currently wears overalls (painters, plumbers, construction workers) should swap their boring old denim ones for this awesome outfit.
4. Geordi’s Glasses From ’Star Trek’
The pinnacle of futuristic eyewear, these glasses are fashionable and functional. Not only do they make the blind Geordi La Forge able to see with Terminator-like precision, they also make him look like a total badass. Who needs Google Glass when you got these babies?
5. Marty’s Jacket From ’Back To The Future’
A self-drying, self-fitting, temperature controlled jacket? Someone stop science (it’s like the presses, right?) and get them all to the work on this, now. Don’t worry about the Internet memes which talk about how companies only have one year to achieve everything in the movie, which takes place in 2015. We don’t need this in a year, we just need it in our lifetime. Maybe just make it a little less, well, ugly-looking. Michael J. Fox could pull it off, but we’re not all Michael J. Fox are we?
6. Scramble Suit From ’A Scanner Darkly’
In an age where the word privacy is losing more meaning every day, what better for your wardrobe than a bodysuit that allows you to totally conceal your identity? This scramble suit allows you to be everyone else all the time, cycling between faces and fashions so fast that Joan Rivers wouldn’t know whether to insult you or not (spoiler: she probably still would). It might make dating a little tough, but it’s no more misleading than someone’s dating profile picture from 15 years ago, so we think you could handle it.
7. Alex’s Bowler Hat And Eye Makeup From ’A Clockwork Orange’
Why has this style not caught on yet? Oh right, because we usually don’t want people to think we’re maniacal mass murderers. Still, you can’t deny that, while watching Alex and his merry band of miscreants commit the darkest deeds imaginable, you thought, “Damn, he looks good.” It’s not just the sinister good looks of Malcolm McDowell. It’s that bowler hat, and those fake bottom eyelashes. They’re incredibly striking, and we’re a little sad no one’s tried to market that look, though maybe that’s just because we haven’t been cured yet.
8. Neo Priest Robe From ’The Matrix Reloaded’ And ’The Matrix Revolutions’
Keanu Reeves makes our list twice, this time in live action (he was the man behind the Scramble Suit). The Matrix sequels had a lot of flaws, but Neo’s wardrobe was not one of them. Replete with a flowing tail that acts as a cape when he flies, a turtleneck, and a sweet pair of sunglasses that would put David Caruso to shame, it’s basically cool personified, making Neo look like a ninja priest – trademarked – and we want.
9. Marty’s Power-Lace Nike Sneakers From ’Back to the Future’
Admit it: this is the first piece of movie clothing you thought of. Since their introduction into Marty McFly’s life 25 years ago in the fictional 2015, moviegoers have been waiting, salivating, begging Nike to make these things a reality. Sure, there are some limited edition shoes they created (and which you can buy online for a measly $7,500), but we want these things market ready and affordable. And yes, Nike, you do have to worry about the meme…you have ONE YEAR.
There is one fashion we never want to see take hold, though: the baby mask from Brazil.
Oh great, now we’re all going to have nightmares for another week.