The movie adaptation of E L James’ erotic “Fifty Shades of Grey” novel has already seen its fair share of ups and downs, ins and outs, and back and forth. And now, the production is experiencing another slight hump in the road with the addition of yet another writer to the team (there’s already three) — veteran action screenwriter Mark Bomback.
Bomback, who has been responsible for movies like “The Wolverine” and “Live Free and Die Hard,” has been hired to polish the script one last time, adding his own distinctive, teasing touch to the script.
With that in mind, what could Bomback’s add to the script? Linking back to his previous movies, we imagine his “Fifty Shades” would be a little unusual.
Runaway Train, Never Coming… Back
Bomback wrote a runaway train movie called “Unstoppable,” and then had a runaway train fight in “The Wolverine.” So chances are, you’re going to get the same thing in his version of “Fifty Shades.” Just think about all those trains going in and out of tunnels. In, and out… In, and out. Holy cow.
Way More Hacking
Picking up where “Live Free or Die Hard” left off, heroine Anastasia Steele could be a plucky hacker with a sidekick played by Justin Long. If you like “Fifty Shades” novel’s slow, drawn-out bondage, you’ll love the “Fifty Shades” movie’s long scenes of slow, drawn-out computer hacking. Also, Kevin Smith is briefly there for no clear reason, which should really help everything feel way more sexy.
What made the 2012 remake of “Total Recall” so successful was the complete lack of any of the subtext that existed in the original, which, given that the original was an Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle, is really saying something. Same thing here with “Fifty Shades,” as Bomback will replace all of Christian Grey and Steele’s dialogue with two lines: “I’m thinking about having sex with you,” and “We are currently having sex.”
Is there really that big of a difference between pain-loving billionaire industrialist Grey and the frequently ripped-to-shreds Wolverine? In a late addition to the script, we think Grey might lose his healing factor, only to have to battle a giant robot in the third act.
Bomback will also be calling on the skills he brought to bear with the 2008 thriller “Deception.” In the movie, Ewan McGregor’s mousey accountant is drawn into a steamy underground world of sex and lies, eventually overcoming his own embarrassment and… OK fine, Bomback’s the right guy for the job, leave us alone.
“Fifty Shades of Grey” begins production this December.